Thanksgiving with the new In Laws

Kerry told me that Frank's parents were going to go to a buffet for Thanksgiving so I offered up an invitation to them for Thanksgiving dinner. I really didn't think that they would come but they did and it turned out to be a wonderful first Thanksgiving dinner for all of us together.

I was totally stressed that there wouldn't be enough food but I was totally wrong. We had turkey for the meat eaters, Tofurky for Kerry and me and enough sides to kill a horse. We also had Kerry's favorite Boston Cream Pie that said Happy Birthday Peewee because besides Thanksgiving it was also Kerry's 25th birthday. Cousin Stevie brought an apple pie, Jon brought flowers and Frank's parents, Ron and Joanne, brought a gorgeous edible arrangements fruit thing, and wine. Yep, we had it all. We all ate too much food and sang happy birthday to Kerry.

When dinner was over Pat and Ron sat at the table talking while Joanne, Kerry, Frank and I rolled around in the yoga room. Frank and I did headstands and then we all just talked. It was really fun. I like Joanne very much. She is very open and friendly. It's quite a difference from Mike's parents who always felt that we were from the wrong side of the tracks. I think Joanne and I will be friends. I'm happy about that.

I was very happy to open our little house to Frank and his parents. They are really nice and they seem to love Kerry. I felt good being the one to bring the new extended family together. We need to get used to it. Kerry and Frank will be married in August and like it or not we will all be one big happy family. You know what? I like it. :)

Getting Paul

While Kerry was home we went to Towne Center Mall in Boca Raton and it was great. Kerry wanted to go back to the Apple store and return an Ipad case that she had bought so I stood in line waiting to get in gazing at the 6 foot cardboard image of Paul in the late 60's drooling. It occurred to me that this store was probably going to throw that fabulous Paul in the garbage. I realized my reason for being in that store at that time.

As we left the store I found Mark and asked him if I could have that picture of Paul. He grabbed his manager Matt and introduced us as "his favorite customers". Kerry jumped in telling him how many Apple products she had and how she just bought her new Ipad the other day. Then Mark said "she really is a huge fan. She has Paul McCartney's driver's license with her". Matt whipped around and said to me "lets see it". I dug into my pocketbook and handed him Paul McCartney's drivers license and smiled. "Can I have it? PLLLEEEAAASSSEEE!!! He asked for a business card which I whipped out at record speed. He said that yes I could have it after it comes down around December 13. Yay me!!!

I'm not exactly sure where I'm going to put Paul but I'll have him in about two weeks. It's a perfect Christmas present for me!!! :) :)

Thoughts on the upcoming holidays

I've been feeling good lately although I know some stressful times are coming. Thanksgiving is a stressful time for me as it's always at my house. I am so glad that Kerry is coming home for the holiday this year. Last year Pat and I packed up Rigby and went up to Gainesville to spend Thanksgiving up there with Kerry up at UF. We cooked Thanksgiving dinner for the 4 of us (Rigby included) and then went to the UF/FSU game. We had such a great time and it was good to get away from the stress of having Thanksgiving dinner at my house.

Kerry will be arriving on her birthday Wednesday in the morning and then Frank will be coming in later on in the day. They are planning to spend the holiday split between us and Frank's parents who live about an hour away. I don't mind sharing. I'm just happy to have them here. Jon and Cousin Stevie will be coming over for dinner and to meet Frank. It'll be Turkey for the carnivores, Tofurkey for the vegetarians and birthday cake for everyone. :)

Frank and Kerry

Kerry is going to spend Friday with me. We will be going shopping!!!!! Yay!!!!! It's been way too long since we have combed the malls for bargains. I'm sure we will be getting a very early start. There is nothing better in the whole world then Black Friday with the kid. :)

On Saturday we will be going to an engagement party in the morning and then I'm sure she will want to spend time with Frank before he goes back to Gainesville on Sunday. Kerry is flying out on Monday but she will be back in a few weeks to spend some more time with us during her winter break from Notre Dame.

The Grotto at Notre Dame

The three of us at Notre Dame Football Stadium

The golden dome at Notre Dame

I miss her. I can't help it. I just miss her and I'm so looking forward to spending some time with her.

Our Anniversary-Today or Tomorrow?

Ok, well there has been quite a lot of drama around me lately but I am happy to say that I have managed to come out the other side with my most important relationships intact. I am happy and peaceful again. It's how I need to be.

Today is a my 34th anniversary. Yep! I've been married to Pat for 34 years now. To top that off we had been together for 7 years before we got married. If you add it all up we have been together 41 years. Man, that's a long time.

I remember the day I got married. I remember thinking that it was funny that I woke up in the morning and said "See ya at the wedding". There was no-oh, don't see the bride before the wedding. It's bad luck-crap. That's pretty much how our marriage has been. Very laid back and very happy. Of course there have been some tough times but not many looking at the whole picture.

Even after all these years, I never know when we are going to turn off the lights to go to sleep and have something strike us really funny. It happened last night. My sides were hurting laughing over someone's last name on the PGA tour. It was Afabarnrat, which struck us hilarious sounding like half a barn rat. I know it's stupid but it's just the way it was. I was crying from laughter. He makes me very happy.

Pat and happy me

Scotty, Stevie's son, got married today in Chicago. Kerry was supposed to go but she got the first case of the swine flu at Notre Dame. I guess God struck her down with the Swine Flu for being the only Jewish student there. :) I'm glad that I got to speak to Scotty today and wish him well. It's a good luck day.

Kerry and Scotty

I miss Kerry very much today. She was the perfect addition to our family when she came. She ended up growing up with with Pat's and my sense of humor. I have so many wonderful memories of her growing up here, with me. Now, she's all grown up and living her own life at Notre Dame. I'm so proud of her but so sad that she is so far away. How did she grow up so fast? Where did the time go?

My baby Kerry

I was very happy to teach my Saturday yoga class today at Etro Salon. It was a small class with only two people but they seemed very happy when they left. Pat's nephew Johnny and his girlfriend Sherry are in town and we will be having dinner at Pat's favorite restaurant, Tijuana Flats. Not the most romantic day or evening but Pat has to work early tomorrow anyway. I think we will just make believe that our anniversary is really tomorrow. :)

My Happiness Journal

Keeping a happiness journal is a wonderful way to catalog the happiness unfolding all around us so that joy has myriad opportunities to manifest itself in our lives. Writing about the emotions we experience while contemplating joy may give us insight into the factors compelling us to resist it. Namaste♥

This was Juliana's Facebook status a while back and I'm thinking that it's a great idea. When life throws us a curve ball it's good to be able to look back on things that make us happy. I am lucky. I have many.

Kerry got into PhD program at Notre Dame-Now this one is interesting. Just the word Kerry makes me happy. All I have to do is think of her and a smile comes on my face. So many things make me smile about her. Memories of her playing soccer, as a baby in Fuddruckers, "Daaaie, I have to talk to you", clarinet performances, sitting at the table laughing with her and Pat, her high school graduation, spending Thanksgiving with her up at UF and going to Tim Tebow's last home game, taking her to see Paul with the second time a highlight of my life, the Dalia Lama, Coldplay, Hansen (twice)....just so many things make me joyous and happy. I could not have asked for a better experience as a mom. Kerry is the best kid EVER. Now she is going off to the University of Notre Dame. I am so proud of her I could just bust however I'm very nervous about her being so far away. I know she will become a fantastic biological scientist and save the world but I will worry day and night. I can't help it. It's just me but this is about joy and Kerry makes me feel that.

Pat-Another word that brings a smile to my face and is filled with memories. Over 40 years of memories. We were just kids when we got together. I was 17. I am now 58. That's a long time and years of great memories. Things like "no picks", "Flizbata", naked golf, the three of us lying in bed making 3 stooges noises, our trips to Vegas, hump day....just so many things that they are too numerous to write down. He has been a fantastic husband and partner to me. He supports me in everything that I do or say. I can count on him NO MATTER WHAT!! We were so different but we are so together. I guess it just shows you that you can be together for many, many years and still be happy. Pat makes me happy.

Pets-1) Mac. Oh my Mac. I loved him so much and I still do and even though he is gone now I still feel happy when I think of him. I would be sitting on the bed and he would jump up, walk on me, hold me down and lick my face until I screamed. He kept me company after hurricane Wilma hit us and Pat had to leave and go to work, he always made me feel safe because I knew he would rip up anyone who messed with me. He was the love of my doggie life and I suppose I will always chase him ie look for him in other pets. He loved me. He was MY dog.

2) Rigby- My Mac replacement. OK, maybe not so much as he is his own dog with his own personality. He loves me too. I call him my "Pea" which is short for Sweetpea because he is such a sweet dog. He is different from Mac but looks almost the same. He reminds me of Kerry sometimes too. The way he always has to bring around a toy is just like Kerry was when she was a kid. I love him madly but he is PAT'S dog. He loves me but he loves his dad. He's all about his dad. I'm lucky if I can get one little swipe of a tongue when Mac would given me a bath but I love my Pea too. His morning banana dance, his cocked head, the way he watches tv and has his favorite commercials. Very cool pet.

3) Jude-He is a great cat and he is totally in love with me. He comes up and lays on my lap while I am on the computer and messes with the mouse so I can't really write much. He's always under the bed covers when he is cold and we call him the Edward G Robinson of cats because of his meow.He hates it when Kerry comes and brings Elly. He spits and growls and then has it out with the paper towels in the middle of the night. It's funny really. He is orange and looks like Simba. He's a cool guy and I love him.



Then there are my friends old and new. Michele, Ruth, Laura, Beth, Wendi, Sandy just to name a few. I am very lucky to have found these ladies who are from all over the country. They are all great friends and I love them all. I have had great times with them all. I am lucky to have them.

My yoga practice makes me happy and how lucky am I to have found Juliana, my spiritual mentor? She has had the most profound effect on my life making me a more grounded, mindful and nonjudgemental person. Now I am taking yoga teacher training from her and because of her. I owe her so much but she would say that I owe her nothing.

Paul. I have loved Paul McCartney since I was 12 years old. I saw him on February 9, 1964, fell in total love and never came back. He was 21 then. Now he is 67 and I am 58 and I am still totally in love. His music has been the score of my life from A Hard Day's Night all the way to Dance Tonight with over 30 albums of music inbetween. He has been the source of so much love and joy in my life that I couldn't thank him enough even if I could speak with him. I finally was able to see him upclose and personal a couple of weeks ago and I felt exactly the same way that I felt when I first saw him in person at Shea Stadium in 1966. Yep, I'll always love Paul.








So there are some of the things that I put in my happiness journal. As I read over this list I realize that the name of this blog is very true. Lucky Me!!!!

Seeing Paul..My Dream Comes True..Part 2

After seeing Paul up close and personal Kerry and I had to run back to the Walmart to get the car. I was worried that it had been towed and I was really thrilled to see it in the parking lot when we got there. We went back into Walmart to get something to drink and I told everyone I saw that I had seen Paul. I told the people on line with us, I told the cashier, I told the air. All I could say was "I just saw Paul". It was hard to come down from the rush of the Paul encounter.

We grabbed the car and drove over to the stadium to listen to the sound check. It was so cool to be able to hear Paul playing with his band from outside the venue. I would have rather been inside but I didn't have the $2500 that I would have had to pay to get in. I was totally happy to sit in my car and hear him play. It was like getting two concerts for the price of one.

Now, a Paul McCartney concert is not complete without a trip to the tour merchandise stand. I'm fairly well known for spending up to $500 on shirts and other tour stuff but I had decided that I was only going to get one shirt for me and one shirt for Kerry. They had this really cute black tank with a flower and Paul's autograph that I had to have for yoga. It was the perfect item that joins my two obsessions. Paul and yoga. Then I saw this really cool yellow shirt that I also had to have along with the matching tote bag. Kerry picked out a really nice blue t-shirt. Although it was more than I wanted to spend it wasn't as bad as it has been at other shows. I got off under $150 which for me at a Paul concert is a pittance. We changed into our new Paul shirts in the car and waited to get in to check out the seats.

The gates into the stadium opened at 6:00 and after getting our field level wristbands we found our seats. Now I am a total Paul seat snot and if I'm not in the first 10 rows I'm unhappy. We were in the 27th row so I was not thrilled with my seats but they weren't really all that bad. We sat around and waited for the show to start.

At 8:30 the band came on stage and there he was. My Paul looking as fantastic as ever. He opened with Venus and Mars/Rockshow which was a fantastic way to start the show. Even though I have seen him 10 times it was the first time I heard him do that song. The set list went as follows:
1.Venus And Mars / Rock Show
2.Jet
3.All My Loving
4.Letting Go
5.Got To Get You Into My Life
6.Highway
7.Let Me Roll It / Foxey Lady
8.The Long And Winding Road
9.Nineteen Hundred And Eighty Five
10.(I Want To) Come Home
11.My Love
12.I’m Looking Through You
13.Two Of Us
14.Blackbird
15.Here Today
16.Dance Tonight
17.Mrs Vandebilt
18.Eleanor Rigby
19.Something
20.Sing The Changes
21.Band On The Run
22.Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da
23.Back In The USSR
24.I’ve Got A Feeling
25.Paperback Writer
26.A Day In The Life / Give Peace A Chance
27.Let It Be
28.Live And Let Die
29.Hey Jude

Encore:
30.Day Tripper
31.Lady Madonna
32.Get Back

Second Encore:
33.Yesterday
34.Helter Skelter
35.Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band / The End

This was a dream set list for me because there were quite a few songs that I hadn't heard him perform like Highway, Foxy Lady, Nineteen Hundred Eighty Five, Two Of Us, Dance Tonight, Mrs Vanderbuilt, Sing The Changes, Oh-Bla-Di Oh-Bla-Da (this was a total fan favorite), I Got A Feeling and A Day In The Life. Most of the other songs I've heard every time I've seen Paul. He feels that songs like The Long and Winding Road, Yesterday and Hey Jude are must perform songs and he always plays them. When I heard the beginning of Live and Let Die I turned to Kerry and said "Oh no, not again". OMG!! I was so wrong. It was beyond words. There were huge explosions and because it was an outside stadium they had the most fabulous fireworks I've ever seen at a show. It was amazing. I've added a youtube video of it below.

Kerry and I stood up for the entire concert which was 3 hours long and after standing up all day looking for Paul when the concert was over we were whipped. Totally and completely whipped but the best kind of whipped there is. Paul concert whipped. At the end of the show Paul stood at the mike and said his usual "see you next time". I hope there is a next time. Thanks Paul. I love you forever!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Here are a few of the youtube videos of the show for your enjoyment.

Seeing Paul...My Dream Comes True....Part One

I want to get all this down before I forget it. Yesterday was a most amazing day spent with the Kid and it never would have happened without her. That's for sure.

We left to get to Sun Life Stadium early. Really early. We were on the road by 2:00 knowing that the concert was scheduled to start at 8:00 with parking opening at 5:00. We got there at about 2:30 and were promptly sent away by the stadium staff. They told us to go and find something else to do for 2 1/2 hours. NOT!!!!

We had noticed that there was a Wal-Mart across the street from the stadium so we decided to go over there and dump off the car. There were threatening signs all over the parking lot saying that any stadium cars would be towed. Kerry said that we should park in the busy part of the lot, go into the store, buy something and them hike over to the stadium. I thought it was a great plan so that's what we did.

We had to slip into the stadium though a break in the fence and just started scoping out the place. There were some people there milling around all wearing VIP necklaces. I wanted to see Paul up close, arriving to the show. It's a dream of mine that has alluded me up to this point. Kerry decided that we were going to make that dream come true so that I wouldn't be "that guy from The Alchemist" always dreaming and never doing.

We came upon some people waiting at an area that looked really good for a Paul entry point. We hung around for a while talking to the people one of who was also named Claudia. She was from Brazil and seemed kind of young to be hanging around waiting for Paul but she seemed to be determined to see him and we thought that maybe she knew what she was doing.

As we were waiting we saw a cop who was just standing around. Kerry told me that she was not afraid to go up to people and talk to them so I sent her over to talk to the cop. I heard her say that it was her mom's dream to see Paul and was this the place that he was going to arrive. I walked up and pleaded with him for any info that he would give us. He smiled and told us that he was sure that Paul was NOT going to arrive at this spot. He said he thought that the spot to check out was between gates A and B. We thanked him and I told him that I hoped something really great would happen to him for helping us. Kerry told the other people what the cop had said but they said not to believe him and they were going to say where they were. Kerry and I looked at each other and decided that we liked the cop and we believed him so we took off to scope out gates A and B.

When we got there we met up with Kelley from the Macca-L list and some other people. One of the women named Joanne said that her friends had seen Paul enter at that very spot the day before so we were feeling pretty good about where we were. We noticed cop cars parked around and lots of event staff hanging around as well. These were signs that we were in the right spot.

Then this really cute young guy came out with a video camera. I sent Kerry on over to see if she could pump him for info. She did an excellent job. She said that he was Paul's video guy and he was 100 percent sure that Paul was coming in this way. I was ready. I actually offered Kerry to the guy for the weekend for an invite to the after party but I was only kidding ( I think). He video taped all of the fans that were standing there with special interest in me and Kerry. I wouldn't be surprised if I see her in the video that will be released.

All of a sudden we saw flashing lights and black SUVs coming our way. The cop car that had been parked blocking the area moved out of the way and the cars started down the street right in front of us. The window on our side rolled down and there was Paul hanging out of the window, waving and pointing. He looked right at me and pointed at me. They slowed the car down to a slow roll so I got to see him for about a full minute. He looked great wearing a blue stripped shirt. I finally had my wish come true. I got to see Paul up close and personal in a non concert setting and Kerry got a great picture of the whole thing. When it was over I grabbed her, hugged her and started crying. She said to me "you see Mom? You're not that guy anymore". That guy was the guy from the book The Alchemist who owned the crystal shop, had big dreams that never came true because he never did anything to make them come true. She was right. I was no longer that guy and it was all because of her.

We were actually closer that this picture indicates. My dream come true!

Part 2 next time.......

Paul's Coming-AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

Here we go again. Paul's coming to Miami on April 3 and I have to be there. There is no way that I am not going to be there. Yeah, ticket prices are loony but over the last few tours I got used to paying gobs of money for decent seats. Now there's the operative word. Decent. Let the mania begin.

Paul playing Jet

Tickets go on sale on Sunday and because I'm a member of the fan club I get in on the presale. In the old days the fan club seats were fantastic. Sixth row center would be the usual and 20th row would have been considered crappy seats. Now I'm fighting with everyone on the internet. It's hard to get good seats these days.

I love the blue backdrop

Now I absolutely must keep my head about me. It's easy to accept lousy seats just to be there and pay hugs prices for them. If I had $1500 I would go for the VIP tickets where you get to get into the sound check but alas I don't have that much. Money is tight these days so that option is out. I must remember that when I log onto Ticketmaster that the first seats that are offered are not necessarily the best ones. I want floor seats and if I have to opt to wait until something goes on Ebay then that's what I must do. The last time I saw Paul, which was in Tampa, I got my seats on Ebay and they were GREAT. I had to pay $100 more than face value but the location was totally worth it. I must remember that when I am trying to score tickets on Sunday. Yeah, right. LOL

Paul from behind 1993

Now here is my other problem. When I found out Paul was coming I was so excited that I told Michele. She is my usual partner for these concerts with me paying for both seats but when I told Kerry about it she said that she would come home for the concert and wanted to go. I remember the last time I took Kerry to see Paul. We had floor seats and she had such a great time. It did my Beatlefan Mom's heart good to see her singing along to every word of every song. She even knew the words to C-Moon which a lot of fans don't know. I was proud. Of course, I'm going to take Kerry but I need a way to tell Michele. I guess I'll just tell her Kerry wants to go. She knows Kerry trumps her.

Paul on a cherry picker going over the audience

Paul and Robbie in 1993

The concert is going to be at Dolphin Stadium. I really wish Paul would go back to the smaller venues like Bank Atlantic Center where I saw him in 2002. I hate these huge stadium concerts. It's really hard to get close and you end up watching on the video screens which is like watching it on TV. However, it's better to do that then not be there. I am going to be there. It will be the 10th time I've seen Paul and may very well be the last. He is, after all, 67 years old and how much longer is he going to be touring. Knowing Paul, his roadies will have to wheel him out in a wheelchair when he's 90. I can only hope. I'm coming, Paulie.

It's been too long.

I was just fixing up Juliana's blog to reflect the teacher training that will be starting on March 19 and it made me realize that I have been neglectful of my own blog. It's amazing how quickly time passes. Here it is February 19 already. It really seems as if time is going faster as I get older. I remember my mom telling me "you turn around once and you are 65" and I see it's true. Well, almost true. I'm 58 not 65. :)

OK, let's see, what's been going on with me? Kerry came home to spend my birthday with me last month and it was the best present that I ever could have gotten. I am so in love with that child and I feel lucky every day to have her in my life. She has grown up into a wonderful, caring young woman and I couldn't be prouder of her.

Today she starts the interview process with the Masters program acceptance committee at UF. Her advisor, Charlie, has already made it very clear that she will be accepted into the program but she has to go through the process anyway. I think it will be pretty stress free for her. I would be thrilled if she decides to stay at UF.

Next week she goes to Notre Dame for her PhD interviews there. They want to meet her so badly that they paid for her airfare, hotel and food for the interview weekend. I know she is very excited about the prospect of starting her PhD at such a well known school but it's in South Bend, Indiana which is far away and VERY cold. I'm sure she will go there and knock their socks off. I'm still hoping for UF. I'm Mom. What can I say?

I start my yoga teacher training on March 19th and I am extremely excited about it. I finally will be learning to teach yoga from my guru, Juliana. Anyone who knows me knows about Juliana. She has changed me in a profound way. It's going to be about 4 months of learning about yoga philosphy, anatomy, asanas and teaching classes. I'm also thrilled that my very good yoga bud Ruth is doing it with me. I love Ruthie and it'll be nice to have her with me to study and practice with. I've started reading the required books and I am ready to go. I feel as if a new path is opening in my life and it's a very good thing.

I am also very excited about some upcoming things that I'm not ready to put in writing yet but I know about them and so do the people involved. I can't wait until March 24th.

Last month I decided to cut my hair really short. Now I know that this may not be a big deal to a lot of people but it was HUGE for me. I was upset about it until Pat came home the day I cut it and told me that he loved it. After that people started telling me that I looked 15 years younger and asked me if I lost weight. That was when I realized that I finally had the right haircut. LOL I will post some picture once Kerry brings my camera back from Gainesville.

As you can probably get from this blog entry, I am very happy and excited about life. I've got the most wonderful family and friends in the whole world. I am brimming over with joy. How lucky can one girl from Long Beach be? :)

2010-A new decade

Ok, well, here we are. It's January 1, 2010. It's hard to believe. I remember when I was a kid I would think to myself that I would be 48 in the year 2000. It seemed so old and so far away. Fast forward to now. It's 2010 and I'm 57 turning 58 in a few days. My mom was right. "You turn around once and you're 65". It seems that the older I get the faster it's going.

I'm excited about the upcoming year. I'm going to start my yoga teacher training in a few weeks and I should be finished and ready to teach at the end of April. I'm very excited about starting my new life as a registered yoga teacher. I truly feel that a consistent yoga practice helps ground you and allows for happiness and joy. I am always very grateful for what I have after a good yoga practice. That's why I'm going to Joy's class in a little while. In my opinion, there is no better way to start the new year.

Kerry's life is in flux but she will figure it all out this year. She is sending out application to University of Chicago, Colorado State, University of Michigan, Notre Dame and some other schools as well. She is hoping to get accepted to a PHD program somewhere. I'm thinking that someone somewhere will want her. She has so much to offer. She is very passionate about her research and her field. She's got good GRE scores, great letters of recommendation and lots of experience. I think she will be a huge success. I'm not real happy about her moving so far away but she promises that it won't be any different that it is now. She says that she will be more likely to come home because she won't have to make the 5 hour drive anymore. Let's hope so.

I have made 4 resolutions as Richard has asked me to do. They are as follows:
1) Finish yoga teacher training, obtain my certification and teach a class.
2) Stay positive
3) Do some kind of exercise 5-6 times per week
4) Continue to be happy

I think these are doable goals which is important when setting goals. They must be able to be acheived. I have decided to add one more resolution and that is to be more consistant with this blog. On looking back on this blog I realize that it's like a diary. I like having all this info to look back on.

I am looking forward to Tim Tebow's last game as a Gator tonight in the Sugar Bowl. Kerry is coming home from Ft Meyers to watch the game with me. What a fantastic way to start the new year. Yoga class and Gator football with Kerry. Go Gators!!

So that's it for now. I am looking forward to a wonderful 2010. Off to yoga class I go. Namaste!

Thanks For The Memories Timmy!!!

Hi Everybody,

I'm in Gainesville waiting for the pre-game hoopla to start. Kerry is on campus finishing up some lab work and when she is finished she will come home, pick us up and off to the game we will go. I can't wait. The atmosphere here is loony. It's like being at a Paul McCartney concert only more so. There should be 100,000 people at the game and we will be sitting with the students in the 10th row of the end zone. We have bought our Gators tatoos to put on our faces before the game so we should fit right in with the drunken students. LOL

Yesterday Kerry and I got up at 5:30am, put on 4 layers of clothes and waited in 36 degree weather for 3 hours to get the correct tickets for the game. They only had 500 upgraded tickets available and I think if we had been 15 minutes later we would not have made it. Kerry has a student ID but Pat and I had to have a certain sticker on our tickets or we couldn't go. It's just another way to make money but totally worth it. We froze our butts off but it was another wonderful time that we will never forget.

Pat has some kind of foot injury. His ankle is all swollen up and black and blue but he doesn't remember thing that might have happened to cause this. It started at home a day or two before we left and has just gotten worse and worse. I hope he makes it through todays festivities alright.

Rigby did really well in the car but all the activity of Kerry's apartment complex is driving him crazy. Every time a car door slams or he hears people talking he starts barking. He is a Lhasa Apso and that's what his breed is all about. He's an alarm dog which normally is a good thing but not so good at 3:00 in the morning. LOL.

Well, that's it from crazy Gainesville. We will all be at the game early to say goodbye to Tim Tebow. It is his last game at The Swamp and I'm sure there will be lots of crying and upset but excitement too. We will be going home tomorrow and back to work for me on Monday.

Goodbye Timmy. Thanks for 4 fantastic years of exciting, winning football. We will miss you. GO GATORS!!!!!

It's Going To Be A Stressful Day

Stress doesn't even begin to describe what I am going through right now. First off, yesterday was Rigby's first check up with a new vet. He was incredibly well behaved. So much so that even the vet couldn't believe what a good dog he was. When she came in and saw that he was a lhasa apso she said "Oh, Lhasa's are usually not the nicest dogs when it comes to strangers". I laughed and told her a little about my Mac who drove fear into the heart of all vets and strangers but I also told her that Rigby was the exception to the rule and he was. The problem came when she was examining his back leg and she said "you know about his right knee, right?" It turns out that he has a luxating patella which means that his knee joint slips in and out. She said that he may have to have surgery down the line but will definitely have arthritis issues when he gets older. She put him on doggie glucosamine which he will be on for the rest of his life. This upset me to no end. The vet also said that this condition is genetic. So much for going to a good breeder. On the bright side he is the nicest Lhasa Apso in the whole world so that's good. Yeah, I really love him. :)

Rigby and his loving mom

Now, on to Kerry. Oy Vey. Death and trouble(as me and my brother used to say when something went wrong). She took possession of a new apartment yesterday in Gainesville which is riddled with water damage, mold and mildew. Kerry has asthma and cannot live in a place like that. The place was totally gross including a large green painting of a penis on the back of her bedroom wall. I am now going at it with the apartment complex about either switching units or getting out of the lease completely. Of course, before they would give her keys she had to give them a cashier's check for $400 and I may be out that money but I just can't have her living in a place where the walls and floors are wet and mold is growing. I'm trying to remember that as my mom would have told me you get more flies with honey than with vinegar and not flip out on these people. Dealing with apartment rentals is what my last job was all about and I'm trying to use some of that experience in this situation but the complex sounds like they are going to try and take a hard line. Like I said before, death and trouble.

Kerry and her loving mom

I was happy to see the scale go down this morning from 158 back to 155. I had a better eating day yesterday after my private yoga session with Juliana. I'm glad she is back from her vacation. She has a very calming effect on me and I'm hoping that will help me get my eating back under control.

Well, that's it for me. I'm sure you will hear me screaming at the apartment complex manager from wherever you may live. Just ignore it and go on with your lives. :)

I'm A Very Proud Mom

Kerry called me today to tell me that she has an interview set up with a PHD guy in the infectious disease department at the University of Michigan. Yep I said Michigan. Her interview is going to take place in January. Yep I said January and she wants me to go with her. Yep I said me. So I guess I'm going to Ann Arbor Michigan in January. I'm freezing already.

Kerry was born here in South Florida and calls me to complain about the cold in Gainesville. Gainesville is in Florida. I can't imagine how she is going to exist in Michigan. I've already told her that I am not moving to Michigan. She says that she will buy me a summer house there. It's too cold there in the summer for me. I need 85, 90, 95 degrees in order to live. I mean when the temperatures hit 70 I pull out my long underwear. I won't be able to deal. I just won't be able to deal.

I am very proud of my girl. She had decided that she wants to be involved in the research of diseases, how they spread and what we should do about them. She is going after what she wanat with all the enthusiasm of a Beatle Fan running after Paul McCartney in the 60's. She is not letting anything stop her. Not the cold, not the money, not the work. She is going to get what she wants and that makes me very happy. All I've ever wanted for her is that she be happy in what she is doing and she makes enough money so that she doesn't have to take any crap from anyone. It looks like I will get my wish for her. I'm a happy mom.

Bathing Suit Shopping....Kill Me Now!!

Now that I have the new gym membership which includes a membership to three of our local pools I realized that I only had one bathing suit. I saw that Macy's was having a killer sale so I decided to go shopping and maybe add another one to my collection of one. NOT!!!! It was a horrible experience. So many different emotions surfaced during this shopping trip and none of them were good.

To begin with I have definitely gained weight. There is no denying it anymore. It's funny how even though the scale keeps going up you can really make yourself believe that it's not. I went into the store thinking that this was not going to be that bad. I was wrong. I've gained weight and there it was staring me in the face in the form of large flabby thighs, hanging skin and a big belly. Every suit I tried on looked terrible. Each one worse than the other. After about 10 of them I decided to screw getting a new suit. The people at the pool will just have to get used to the one that I have which I actually like. I guess I should have bought two when I found it.

After trying on the suits and feeling like crap I noticed the Auntie Anne's pretzel stand. I really wanted a cinnamon sugar pretzel. I mean I really wanted one but I walked by thinking to myself that eating a pretzel would not help in any way other than to make things worse.....but I really wanted one. Then I saw the cupcake stand. Anyone who knows me knows I love cake and cupcakes. They are a weakness of mine. I started walking towards it like a zombie. No thought, no mindfulness, no consequences. I mean after all, I was feeling like crap. I was fat again and one cupcake was not going to make or break the problem and it would make me feel good. As I got closer I reached in my pocket and grabbed my phone. I called my good friend Laura who always knows what to say to me whatever I may be going through. In thinking back on it I guess it was my subconcious that called Laura because all of sudden I found myself talking to her. I don't have any memory of pushing the buttons to call her. I don't even remember the thought process that I must have gone through before I called her. I just know that I did and as always she talked me down from the wall. I left the mall talking to her and not eating a cupcake.

I still feel terrible about the whole thing. I got on the scale this morning and there it was. 156. The scale keeps going up, up, up. I know why though. My eating has been terrible lately and my plantar fasciitis has stopped me from doing any hard exercise. I must say I am feeling really bad about myself. I am up in weight and out of shape. I look like crap in a bathing suit and I'm not doing anything much about it. I have no job and no prospects. Kerry is talking about going even further away than she is right now. I'm really feeling down. I find in writing this down that the fact that Kerry is talking about New Jersey, Michigan and Canada is really, really bothering me. It's the worst of all. I'm sorry, Peewee but it's the truth. I know that you have to go where it's best for your schooling and your career but......the tears are falling as I am writing. I can't help it.

I am going to drag myself into the living room and put on one of Richard's videos. Maybe that will make me feel better. It certainly won't hurt the gaining weight problem. It can only help but my heel pain limits me in what I can do. I don't want to go to the gym today. I just don't feel like it but I know that if I don't go and I don't do any exercise I'll be sorry later just like I was in the dressing room yesterday.

Tarsal Tunnel Syndrome

I went to the podiatrist yesterday and after an examination and an ultrasound the diagnosis is Tarsal Tunnel Syndrome. It's like Carpal Tunnel Syndrome only instead of happening in the wrist it happens in the foot/ankle area. It is somewhat due to the Plantar Fasciitis but is actually a different thing. It is due to the flattening of my foot and is also considered an overuse injury.

After I was treated for the Plantar Fasciitis and was feeling better I really stepped up the workouts for the ladies at Curves. I was like a Richard Simmons clone. I would crank up the music and make them work really hard but in order to make the ladies work hard I was working hard too. I was bouncing around, doing lots of leg lifts and jumping and had cranked the aerobics up from low impact to high impact. The next thing you know, Tarsal Tunnel Syndrome. Ouch!

Dr Tanner sprayed my foot with a numbing agent and gave me a cortisone shot in the side of my heel. Surprisingly enough it didn't hurt at the time but started aching late in the afternoon yesterday. Today it is screaming so I'll be taking it easy. Thank god for my big screen TV and the French Open Tennis match. If I get bored with that theres always Paul McCartney dvds to be watched and drooled over.

Once I am feeling better I have to go shopping for some new shoes with, get this, heels. Dr T wants me in 2 inch heels to take the pressure off the Tarsal Tendon. In going though my shoes I realized that I only own one pair of shoes with heels this high. I live in sneakers or flats. I wish Kerry was home to go shopping with me. It would make it fun instead of work.

I'm trying to figure out some exercise for today. No aerobics but maybe some upper body weight lifting which I can do in a chair. Oy vey! Exercising in a chair. If I didn't feel like an old lady before I'm feeling it now.

If all this doesn't work and we do all of the allowed shots then I have to think about the S word. Yes, surgery. I'm thinking that before I do that I will find another pediatrist and get a second opinion. Foot surgery has the possibilities or ruining my life but I'm not going there yet. I am going to stay as positive as possible and hope it doesn't come to that.

Never Give Up

Well, it's started. Kerry left on Monday afternoon and I haven't stopped eating since. It's actually amazing the amount of food that I can consume without really thinking about it. I let the loneliness I felt for my daughter overwhelm me and started eating. And it's the worst kind of eating. Emotional. What gets me is that I am aware of it. I know I'm doing it but don't or can't stop. What's up with that? Huh?

Breakfast is good. It's always good. I always have either a half of a bagel with one tablespoon of whipped cream cheese and an orange or a bowl of oatmeal with berries. Sometimes I even go all the way and make myself a mixture of Egg Beaters with onion, mushrooms and any other kind of veggie and a piece of toast. All of these are pretty good choices for a healthy breakfast. I do indulge in too much coffee in the morning but as for as food goes I think my breakfast choices are pretty good. After that I am screwed.

I don't really eat lunch. I start my grazing and it doesn't stop until I start getting ready for work. Now I have to ask myself is it grazing or binging? Does it really matter? All I know is that I don't really eat a real lunch. I just go for whatever is around. Fruit, cheese, almonds, lots of bread and rolls. Sometimes, every now and then, I'll have some soup or leftovers from the night before but I never stop there. I just keep going, eating until I get ready for work which is usually about 2:30. I've tried to change this but I keep going back to my bad habits.

Now looking at this a little closer it seems that I have food difficulties from lunch time to dinner time. OK, now that's about 4 hours or so. Maybe I need to find something to do during this time of day so that my head doesn't end up in the fridge looking for something that isn't even there. I wish I was more like my unbelievably talented and crafty friend Laura who makes beautiful jewelry. I've tried knitting, crocheting, painting by numbers and many other things. I'm just not very crafty so I always struggle and finally lose interest. I guess I need to find something interesting I can do during the time when I usually end up looking for food. I need to change things up. Not something that comes easily to me, change. I will try though. It's all about trying. Right? Like Richard always says "Never give up".

The Coldplay Concert.

Kerry is leaving to go back up to Gainesville this afternoon. Once again it was totally fantastic to have her home. We had a lot of fun as usual most of it either in front of the big screen TV or shopping. Yeah, we did lots of shopping.

The highlight was definitely the ColdPlay concert at the West Palm Beach Amphitheater. It was really an amazing show. They are a very talanted, british and somewhat Beatlesque (which is a true compliment coming from me) band. There are four of them just like The Beatles. The very cute frontman, Chris Martin is a vegetarian like Paul and is married to Gwyneth Paltrow. Lucky Gwyneth Paltrow.



We had really great seats. They were located in the front row of the second section right behind the private boxes so we could really see and had leg room to boot. At one point in the concert the boys ran up to a small stage setup very near us and we were able to get VERY close. It was very exciting and brought me back to the last time I saw Paul. Yes, my Paul. I snuck up to the third row and was very close. Very close. I saw him and he saw me....well, back to Coldplay.

This is Paul McCartney in 1993

OK...back to Coldplay

They played my two favorite songs which are Fix You and The Scientist so I was happy. Kerry was totally ecstatic during the entire concert. We stood and danced and sang for two hours. Kerry lost her voice (strangely familiar). They even sang I'm A Believer which was a fun
addition for us old folks.

When the concert was over Coldplay had a new fan (me) and we were each given a free CD which contains 9 live songs that they played at our concert. It is a very nice souvenir and I am playing it as I write this blog. Getting out of the venue was a total nightmare but looking back on it, being stuck in traffic for 2 hours with Kerry was just another chance for us to be together. For me, that's the only thing that matters.

Frontman Chris Martin

Loneliness And Eating

Kerry got home on Friday night and it is soooo good to have her home for a little while. It makes me realize that a lot of my eating issues have to do with her not being here aka loneliness. Thinking back on my life that is a recurring theme. Hmmm. Very interesting.

When I was a kid I would come home from school and my mom would be there waiting for me. She was always so happy to see me. She would have milk and cookies or some fruit waiting for me because she knew I would be hungry. We would sit and talk for hours. We would laugh about things that had happened during the day to me at school and her at home. She adored the ground that I walked on and I loved her more than anyone. I remember those times like it was yesterday.

When I got to be about 9 years old my dad opened up his own business. He needed my mom to help out in the office so she went to work every day and couldn't be there waiting for me when I got home anymore. My grandmother lived upstairs from us in a separate apartment but it wasn't the same as having my mom there with me. I was lonely and I started to eat.

It didn't take very long for me to gain weight and by the time I was in 6th grade I was overweight and taking crap from the other kids. I remember that I would come home and eat until my parents got home from work. Then we would eat dinner and dinner was always a heavy meal of meat and potatoes and when I say meat I don't mean chicken. I'm talking steak, lamb chops, briskit, beef stew, flanken. I think you get the idea. So that meant that I ate for hours while I sat by myself watching TV.

I stayed overweight until I was 40 years old. A few years after having Kerry I found Richard Simmons and with his help I was able to lose my weight. He became my weight loss guru and friend. I don't think I could have done it without his help and attention.

Richard and me last March

Kerry was a kid and there was so much to do. She took piano lessons. She became a girl scout. She started playing soccer. She joined the band. She kept me very busy and was there as the best company anyone could ask for. We would sit at the kitchen table and talk for hours just like I did with my mom. I kept my weight off without even really having to think about it. It was easy.

Kerry left for college in 2005 and I cried for three weeks. She had a boyfriend here so she started coming home every other weekend. I loved that. She also called me 5 times a day so it was almost as if she hadn't really left at all. I kept kept my weight off easily during this time.

Kerry and me at Hoover Dam

She broke up with her boyfriend 2 years later and stopped making those weekend trips home. I found myself sitting in front of the TV eating and my weight started to escalate. My beloved Lhasa Apso Mac also died around this time. This is something I still haven't gotten over.

Mac and me

I found Richard's online clubhouse and was able to get back on track and keep my weight down. I got a lot of support from the webbies and also met some of my very best friends. They are always there for me when I need them but they all live so far away. I wish they lived closer.

Fast forward to now. Kerry is up in Gainesville most of the time. I still hear from her 5 times a day but feel lonely most of the time. I miss having her here, in person to talk to and to be with. I find myself struggling with my weight. Here I am sitting in front of the TV eating again. It's just like it was when I was a kid and my mom went to work. Lonely and eating. I wish I could get over all of this but the struggle continues.

Shopping with the kid

Kerry is home for the rest of the week and since she got home my eating has been great. My eating was great when I went to LA to hang with my fellow fabbies also. I need to get a grip on this. If I don't I'll be just like I was in 6th grade. Overweight and taking crap from people.

The Fabs in LA a month ago

Now It's My Turn

I was working at Curves last Tuesday and I was telling the ladies about Pat and how sick he had gotten. I told them that I took care of him, gave him his medicine, made chicken soup and keep an eye on him. I also said that I was very happy that I had been lucky and not caught whatever it was that he had. One of the ladies, Betsy, said "Well, it's not over yet. You still could be incubating something." Well, guess what? She was right. I was incubating something. Now I am full blown sick. Whaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!! Yep, that was me whining!!

I feel like crap and I have to work tonight anyway. One of my co-workers is out of town and Lisa will not care that I am sick. She will tell me to stay behind the desk and tell everyone that I am trying not to get them sick. Lisa doesn't work double shifts and she is working this morning so I am not even going to bother calling in sick. I also have to work tomorrow morning. I just hope I am feeling better then.

On a happier note, Kerry is coming home tomorrow for about 10 days and I can't wait. We are going to the Coldplay concert In West Palm Beach on May 15th and I am really looking forward to that. We will also go window shopping. Note I said window shopping. Money is tight and the days of frivolous spending are gone. I'm sure Kerry will talk me into something. :)

The face I can't say no to. The kid!

My Yearly Mammogram

I have an appointment at 8:15am for my yearly mammogram. My mom developed breast cancer when she was 75 and it was the beginning of the end for her. She never really came back from the stress of the surgery and two years later I found her dead in her bed. It was a terrible time for me. Mom was my best friend and my rock. She is gone 12 years now but I still think about her and miss her every day of my life.

I make sure that I go for my yearly mammogram because I don't want Kerry to go through what I did with my mom. When it comes to this test I don't procrastinate as I do with many other things. When I get the letter from the Coral Springs Women's Wellness Center that says that I'm due I make my appointment right away. I also don't sweat the results. I just go, get my boobs squished and then put it right out of my mind until the results come in. I decided a long time ago that I wouldn't start to worry until I had something to worry about.

So, I'm going to get into the shower (no deodorant or powder) and get dressed. I don't want to keep the medical staff waiting. Maybe I'll call Michele when it is over and meet her for a cup of coffee. Then it's off to Publix to get a few things that I forgot when Pat and I went food shopping on Saturday. When I get home I will get in some exercise and then it's off to work in the afternoon.

So that's my day today. Don't forget to get your yearly mammogram. It can make the difference between life and death.