My Happiness Journal

Keeping a happiness journal is a wonderful way to catalog the happiness unfolding all around us so that joy has myriad opportunities to manifest itself in our lives. Writing about the emotions we experience while contemplating joy may give us insight into the factors compelling us to resist it. Namaste♥

This was Juliana's Facebook status a while back and I'm thinking that it's a great idea. When life throws us a curve ball it's good to be able to look back on things that make us happy. I am lucky. I have many.

Kerry got into PhD program at Notre Dame-Now this one is interesting. Just the word Kerry makes me happy. All I have to do is think of her and a smile comes on my face. So many things make me smile about her. Memories of her playing soccer, as a baby in Fuddruckers, "Daaaie, I have to talk to you", clarinet performances, sitting at the table laughing with her and Pat, her high school graduation, spending Thanksgiving with her up at UF and going to Tim Tebow's last home game, taking her to see Paul with the second time a highlight of my life, the Dalia Lama, Coldplay, Hansen (twice)....just so many things make me joyous and happy. I could not have asked for a better experience as a mom. Kerry is the best kid EVER. Now she is going off to the University of Notre Dame. I am so proud of her I could just bust however I'm very nervous about her being so far away. I know she will become a fantastic biological scientist and save the world but I will worry day and night. I can't help it. It's just me but this is about joy and Kerry makes me feel that.

Pat-Another word that brings a smile to my face and is filled with memories. Over 40 years of memories. We were just kids when we got together. I was 17. I am now 58. That's a long time and years of great memories. Things like "no picks", "Flizbata", naked golf, the three of us lying in bed making 3 stooges noises, our trips to Vegas, hump day....just so many things that they are too numerous to write down. He has been a fantastic husband and partner to me. He supports me in everything that I do or say. I can count on him NO MATTER WHAT!! We were so different but we are so together. I guess it just shows you that you can be together for many, many years and still be happy. Pat makes me happy.

Pets-1) Mac. Oh my Mac. I loved him so much and I still do and even though he is gone now I still feel happy when I think of him. I would be sitting on the bed and he would jump up, walk on me, hold me down and lick my face until I screamed. He kept me company after hurricane Wilma hit us and Pat had to leave and go to work, he always made me feel safe because I knew he would rip up anyone who messed with me. He was the love of my doggie life and I suppose I will always chase him ie look for him in other pets. He loved me. He was MY dog.

2) Rigby- My Mac replacement. OK, maybe not so much as he is his own dog with his own personality. He loves me too. I call him my "Pea" which is short for Sweetpea because he is such a sweet dog. He is different from Mac but looks almost the same. He reminds me of Kerry sometimes too. The way he always has to bring around a toy is just like Kerry was when she was a kid. I love him madly but he is PAT'S dog. He loves me but he loves his dad. He's all about his dad. I'm lucky if I can get one little swipe of a tongue when Mac would given me a bath but I love my Pea too. His morning banana dance, his cocked head, the way he watches tv and has his favorite commercials. Very cool pet.

3) Jude-He is a great cat and he is totally in love with me. He comes up and lays on my lap while I am on the computer and messes with the mouse so I can't really write much. He's always under the bed covers when he is cold and we call him the Edward G Robinson of cats because of his meow.He hates it when Kerry comes and brings Elly. He spits and growls and then has it out with the paper towels in the middle of the night. It's funny really. He is orange and looks like Simba. He's a cool guy and I love him.



Then there are my friends old and new. Michele, Ruth, Laura, Beth, Wendi, Sandy just to name a few. I am very lucky to have found these ladies who are from all over the country. They are all great friends and I love them all. I have had great times with them all. I am lucky to have them.

My yoga practice makes me happy and how lucky am I to have found Juliana, my spiritual mentor? She has had the most profound effect on my life making me a more grounded, mindful and nonjudgemental person. Now I am taking yoga teacher training from her and because of her. I owe her so much but she would say that I owe her nothing.

Paul. I have loved Paul McCartney since I was 12 years old. I saw him on February 9, 1964, fell in total love and never came back. He was 21 then. Now he is 67 and I am 58 and I am still totally in love. His music has been the score of my life from A Hard Day's Night all the way to Dance Tonight with over 30 albums of music inbetween. He has been the source of so much love and joy in my life that I couldn't thank him enough even if I could speak with him. I finally was able to see him upclose and personal a couple of weeks ago and I felt exactly the same way that I felt when I first saw him in person at Shea Stadium in 1966. Yep, I'll always love Paul.








So there are some of the things that I put in my happiness journal. As I read over this list I realize that the name of this blog is very true. Lucky Me!!!!

Rigby Is My Son

Rigby woke us up at 4:45 this morning scratching at the back door. I dragged myself out of bed and let him out to do his thing in the backyard. He went out and ate grass. I knew this was a bad sign. He laid down in the grass so I picked him up and brought him back inside so I could get some more sleep. Normally he would jump up on the bed and sleep with us but he didn't this morning.

Rigby and me

At 5:30am he started scratching at the door again so Pat got up with him this time. I got dressed so I could go outside and see what was going on. He was just laying in grass breathing heavy. I sat on the grass with him petting him and telling him that everything. He scared me really badly.

We went inside and I gave him some water with ice cubes in it and he seemed to like that. Then I hooked him up and took him out the front for a short walk. Usually he wants to stay outside but he didn't want to this morning. We walked for a short time but he turned around and took me home. I offered him a doggy treat and he took it. It was the first sign that he was going to be alright and believe me, I was happy to see that.

Rigby is such a good boy

After my yoga practice I fixed Rigby his breakfast which he snubbed. Very unusual. I also fixed my breakfast which he normally begs for and he wasn't interested. Hmmm...what to do? I remembered that I had some turkey breast in the fridge and he loves it so I offered him a small piece and he took it. He ended up eating the whole thing. I put some in his food and he ate that too.

He is still not feeling his best but I can tell he is MUCH better than he was before. I remember saying to him "you're only three years old. The universe wouldn't do that to me again so soon. You are not Mac." I'm happy to say that he proved me right. After all, he is my son just like Mac was.

Mac and me

I would like to mention that my good friend Richard Simmons unexpectedly lost his beloved dalmation Dolly yesterday. I remember how it felt when Mac died. I want to let Richard know that I am thinking of him today. He will be on QVC and I'm sure he will be his usual "court jester" on the outside but crying on the inside. I love you, Richard. I'm so sorry about Dolly.

I don't know who I am but I'm not myself

I haven't been feeling well lately. Like my mom used to say "I don't know who I am but I am not feeling myself". I'm pretty sure it's got something to do with the new medications that I'm on. At least I hope that is what it is.

I finally called my doctor yesterday and gave him all of my complaints. Very tired, muscle aches, jelly legs, zoning out and generally not feeling right. We are changing up my meds to see if we can figure it all out. We are thinking that the muscle weakness and pains are due to the Zocor and the zoning out and general weirdness is from too much Lisinopril.

Starting today I am cutting the Lisinopril in half and I'm off the Zocor completely. I will continue this for two weeks and then reintroduce the Zocor and see how I feel. Hopefully I will feeling like my old self very soon.

I'm also worried about Rigby. He seems to have developed a bit of a limp. It's his driver side rear. It's more pronounced when he is on the bed. He doesn't seem to be in any pain but I see the leg being held up when he gets up to get off the bed. He is much better on the hard floor but of course, he won't stay there. He's a bed dog. My vet retired so I don't even have a good vet to take him to not to mention the money issues. I don't think I could take it again. Not another sick dog so soon. I'm still not over Mac.

Baby It's Cold Outside

34 degrees? What is that? It's not supposed to get that cold here. I just got in from taking Rigby out and even with 4 layers of clothes on I was freezing. I live in South Florida. I'm not meant to hear numbers like 34. I can't deal. Man, it's cold out there.

I did the deadly deed this morning. I turned on the heat. Being a Floridian means that you NEVER turn on the heat. It's sacrilegious. It's just not done. If Pat was here he would flip out and turn it off. He works for the power company and feels it is never cold enough to use electric heat here in South Florida. I wait for him to leave and then turn it on. Screw that no heat stuff.

Kerry is in Gainesville which is even colder than it is here. They were down in the low 20's this morning so I'm sure my phone will ring very soon. I usually get a whining phone call from her when it is cold out. Yeah, Peewee. Tell me how you are going to move to Chicago or Seattle. Yeah, right.

Rigby is the only one who is happy with the weather and that won't last long either. He has an appointment with the groomer today. He will be cut short as usual and if this keeps up even he will be cold. He loves the cold weather though. Mac did too. I call it Lhasa Apso weather. It's weather that only Lhasa Apsos could love. The cold brings them back to their roots of living in the Tibetan mountains hanging out with the monks.

I gotta go take Rigby now, then it's off to yoga and then off to work if I don't freeze to death first. See ya....

Happy Birthday Laura

Today is a very special day. It is a special day because it is the birthday of a very special friend. I met her only by chance on the internet. She was a member of Richard Simmons clubhouse as I was. I had been reading her posts for a long time thinking to myself that this was an incredibly intelligent and strong person. Her posts were always funny, interesting and thought provoking. She also went against the grain on many occasions standing up for herself or others if she thought that she should never fearing retribution from the other people there. I liked that.

Beth on top, Vennie, Claudia and Laura. The Fab Four

I also admired her strength. Not only her strength of character but also her physical strength in coming back from life threatening illnesses that would have put anyone else either in the loony bin or the grave. Not to mention the fact that she had lost over 200 pounds!!! I remember thinking to myself that I wished I had that person for a friend but I also thought that she wouldn't want to be friends with me. What attributes could I possibly have that would make that person want to be my friend?

My gorgeous and brilliant friend Laura

Then Mac, my beloved lhasa apso and son, got terminally ill and I was thrown into a complete tizzy. I loved him so much and I was going to have to put him down. I thought I wanted to die with him. I posted about it on the clubhouse boards and who was it that posted back? It was this wonderful and wise person who gave me the strength to make the hardest decisions I've ever had to make. She kept me calm and assured me that I would have the strength to do what I had to do. I don't know what I would have done without her at that time in my life.

My son Mac

From that time on she has continued to be my wonderful and beloved friend. She keeps me sane when I go off the wall for whatever reason. She makes me laugh when I am sad. She gives me strength when I am weak and she gives me her friendship when I am feeling lonely. I'm still not sure why she would want to be MY friend but I thank the universe that she does. So.....HAPPY BIRTHDAY LAURA. HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY

There may be bugs on some of you mugs but there ain't no bugs on me

Have you ever seen that commercial? It's the one with the golden retreiver puppy singing that song that goes...There ain't no bugs on me, there ain't no bugs on me. There may be bugs on some of you mugs but there ain't no bugs on me. Well, guess what? We found bugs on Rigby and not the usual fleas. We found a tick on him. Kerry found a bump on his skin and started to freak because that's how Mac's Histiocytic Sarcoma started so she decided to play doctor. She grabbed a pair of tweezers and started digging around on him. She found something suspicious and grabbed it with the tweezers. She pulled a tick out of him and it started to crawl up the tweezers. OMG!! Rigby was infected!

How cute is Rigby?

I grabbed him and we ran to see Dr Eich, Rigby's vet. Luckily I had just gotten him groomed the day before so he could be examined with little difficulty. It was time for his yearly shots so we had that done to him along with a stick up the butt for heartworm and Lyme's disease tests. I am happy to report that other than a yeast infection in his ear, all of the tests came out negative and Rigby is as healthy as a little horse. Dr Eich thinks that it was a rouge tick that Rigby probably picked up at the pooping grounds which is what I call the place that we take him for his daily walks. We were given a tick collar that he has to wear for three months but it doesn't seem to bother him too much and all is well in his little doggy world.

There may be bugs on some of you mugs but there ain't no bugs on me!

My Two Sons

Rigby is my Lhasa Apso. He is my good son. When Mac died I thought I would never find another dog that I loved as much as him. Mac was my evil son. He was the love of my doggy life but he took his role as the house enforcer a little too seriously. It's hard for me to admit but he was mean. He loved Pat and me but that was really where it ended. Kerry wanted him to love her and I think he did in his own doggy way but more importantly he had to dominate her. He even bit her a couple of times and paid the price. He couldn't help it. It was just the way he was.

When Mac was diagnosed with liver cancer I was devastated. It was one of the hardest things I ever went through. It only took about 6 weeks from the time that he was diagnosed until we finally had to put him down. I was with him to the end. I layed on the table with him when Dr. Eich administered the shot. He died looking into my eyes. I felt his last breath on my face.

I cried constantly for 3 days. I realized that I had to get another dog. Now! I was too lonely and the house was too empty. I didn't want just another dog I wanted another Lhasa Apso. Mac had been such a great dog that I wanted to do it again but with a few small changes. I didn't want the new dog to have to live in Mac's shadow. There were some big shoes to fill around here.

I have a friend who is in the show dog world and she found a breeder of Lhasas that had a litter of puppies that were ready for new homes. Kerry and I took the 2 hour ride to pick out a new dog. I wanted a girl because Mac was a boy. I wanted a golden color dog because Mac was beige/white.

I walked into the breeder's house and was immediately covered in puppies. They were all so cute I couldn't decide. Kerry and I finally picked out this very cute female puppy and decided to take her home. Once all the papers were filled out and the money had been exchanged Kerry and I decided to play with the puppies for a little while longer. We just couldn't leave when there were puppies to be played with.

I sat on the floor indian style while Kerry picked up each puppy to say goodbye. She picked up the golden male and he started to squirm. She dropped him on the floor. I heard the clunk. Ouch!! All of a sudden this male puppy ran over to me and climbed into my lap. He turned around facing out and wouldn't get off. I realized at that moment that I had made the wrong choice. Yes, he was a big male puppy just like Mac but I felt as if he had picked me out. We changed all the paperwork and I took him home. I named him Rigby after Paul McCartney's song Eleanor Rigby.

The older Rigby gets the more he looks like Mac. Pat says he looks like a little ghost. He is, however, sweet and not mean. He doesn't bite or growl like Mac did. You can take him out to meet other dogs and he won't bite them in the face like Mac used to. People can pet him and I don't have to worry about a law suit. You can even take something right out of his mouth and have all 10 fingers when you are done. Mac and Rigby. My two sons. I love them both.