I'm A Very Proud Mom

Kerry called me today to tell me that she has an interview set up with a PHD guy in the infectious disease department at the University of Michigan. Yep I said Michigan. Her interview is going to take place in January. Yep I said January and she wants me to go with her. Yep I said me. So I guess I'm going to Ann Arbor Michigan in January. I'm freezing already.

Kerry was born here in South Florida and calls me to complain about the cold in Gainesville. Gainesville is in Florida. I can't imagine how she is going to exist in Michigan. I've already told her that I am not moving to Michigan. She says that she will buy me a summer house there. It's too cold there in the summer for me. I need 85, 90, 95 degrees in order to live. I mean when the temperatures hit 70 I pull out my long underwear. I won't be able to deal. I just won't be able to deal.

I am very proud of my girl. She had decided that she wants to be involved in the research of diseases, how they spread and what we should do about them. She is going after what she wanat with all the enthusiasm of a Beatle Fan running after Paul McCartney in the 60's. She is not letting anything stop her. Not the cold, not the money, not the work. She is going to get what she wants and that makes me very happy. All I've ever wanted for her is that she be happy in what she is doing and she makes enough money so that she doesn't have to take any crap from anyone. It looks like I will get my wish for her. I'm a happy mom.

Bathing Suit Shopping....Kill Me Now!!

Now that I have the new gym membership which includes a membership to three of our local pools I realized that I only had one bathing suit. I saw that Macy's was having a killer sale so I decided to go shopping and maybe add another one to my collection of one. NOT!!!! It was a horrible experience. So many different emotions surfaced during this shopping trip and none of them were good.

To begin with I have definitely gained weight. There is no denying it anymore. It's funny how even though the scale keeps going up you can really make yourself believe that it's not. I went into the store thinking that this was not going to be that bad. I was wrong. I've gained weight and there it was staring me in the face in the form of large flabby thighs, hanging skin and a big belly. Every suit I tried on looked terrible. Each one worse than the other. After about 10 of them I decided to screw getting a new suit. The people at the pool will just have to get used to the one that I have which I actually like. I guess I should have bought two when I found it.

After trying on the suits and feeling like crap I noticed the Auntie Anne's pretzel stand. I really wanted a cinnamon sugar pretzel. I mean I really wanted one but I walked by thinking to myself that eating a pretzel would not help in any way other than to make things worse.....but I really wanted one. Then I saw the cupcake stand. Anyone who knows me knows I love cake and cupcakes. They are a weakness of mine. I started walking towards it like a zombie. No thought, no mindfulness, no consequences. I mean after all, I was feeling like crap. I was fat again and one cupcake was not going to make or break the problem and it would make me feel good. As I got closer I reached in my pocket and grabbed my phone. I called my good friend Laura who always knows what to say to me whatever I may be going through. In thinking back on it I guess it was my subconcious that called Laura because all of sudden I found myself talking to her. I don't have any memory of pushing the buttons to call her. I don't even remember the thought process that I must have gone through before I called her. I just know that I did and as always she talked me down from the wall. I left the mall talking to her and not eating a cupcake.

I still feel terrible about the whole thing. I got on the scale this morning and there it was. 156. The scale keeps going up, up, up. I know why though. My eating has been terrible lately and my plantar fasciitis has stopped me from doing any hard exercise. I must say I am feeling really bad about myself. I am up in weight and out of shape. I look like crap in a bathing suit and I'm not doing anything much about it. I have no job and no prospects. Kerry is talking about going even further away than she is right now. I'm really feeling down. I find in writing this down that the fact that Kerry is talking about New Jersey, Michigan and Canada is really, really bothering me. It's the worst of all. I'm sorry, Peewee but it's the truth. I know that you have to go where it's best for your schooling and your career but......the tears are falling as I am writing. I can't help it.

I am going to drag myself into the living room and put on one of Richard's videos. Maybe that will make me feel better. It certainly won't hurt the gaining weight problem. It can only help but my heel pain limits me in what I can do. I don't want to go to the gym today. I just don't feel like it but I know that if I don't go and I don't do any exercise I'll be sorry later just like I was in the dressing room yesterday.

My New Gym Membership

I was on the phone with Kerry on Saturday talking about everything under the sun. We were on the phone for 3 hours. 3 hours!!!!! In this conversation I was complaining about not being able to exercise. The podiatrist suggested swimming but I don't have a pool and I was telling her this when she said "Mom, why don't you just join the pool like we did when I was a kid?" Well, a light went off and I said "now, that's a great idea".

I went over to our local aquatic center and asked about a membership. There were a few different memberships available and one included a membership to the fitness center at the aquatic center. It was inexpensive and there was no sign up fee like there is at a 24 Hour Fitness or Bally's. I joined up on the spot.

I got up early this morning and I went over for my first workout. The fitness center has treadmills, elipticals, recumbent bikes, stairclimbers and every kind of weight machine in the world. There were quite a few that I have never seen before and I've been in a lot of gyms in my life. They even have a steam room!! There is a free weight room and even a "Curves" room. I told the person giving me the tour that the "Curves" room is the one room I was going to say out of. Not only did I work at Curves for a year and a half but I tore my Plantar Fascia there. Nope, not going in there.

My podiatrist had told me that I was allowed 15 minutes on a treadmill so I did that. Then I went over to the recumbent bikes for another 15 minutes. It's been quite some time since I worked out that hard. It felt great. When I finished my cardio I went over to the weight machines. I worked my back, shoulders and triceps. I felt really great when I was done. I was hot and sweaty but happy that I had worked out so hard.

When I was done in the gym I changed into my swim suit and hit the pool. OMG!!! It was so great to be in the water again. It's been years since I've been swimming. It was such a freeing feeling. I swam about 20 laps before I pooped out. I am going to love this new gym and pool.

I have to say that I am definitely feeling my foot at the moment. I'm hoping that it goes away soon. Maybe I did too much. I don't know but even if I have to cut back a bit I can still go there and just lift weights and swim.

My food was better today. I guess it's all connected just like Richard says. I think I'm on the right track.

It's Officially Plantar Fasciitis!

It's official. I am suffering from a torn Plantar Fascia. In other words Plantar Fasciitis. My foot is feeling much better than it was when I arrived at the podiatrist's office a month ago. I was happy to hear the diagnosis. My doctor made me promise that I would continue icing, tensing, rolling, exercising, picking up marbles, picking up towels, working with elastic bands and stretching every day. It's like a full time job but I'm not going to complain because it's working. I even got the OK to start walking again. I'm to start out walking 15 minutes and work up to longer and longer walks. I'm going to put my orthotics in my shoes and take Rigby for a 15 minute walk as soon as I find out whether or not Tiger Woods makes the cut in the British Open.

On another note I am starting a new exercise class tomorrow. I am going to try Pilates. The Yoga Source gives a class on Saturday mornings and I've been looking for something new to kick start my program. I'm hoping this will be it. I hear it's a tough but rewarding class. I need some rewards.

My eating has been horrid. I'm afraid to get on the scale. I don't want to know what the bad news is. I know that Richard would tell me to just do it and face the music but I just can't do it. I want to try to get back on track and get in a little exercise before I face the bad news. I know it's going to be very, very bad. I don't really know why I'm eating so badly. Is it boredom? Maybe. Is it frustration? Maybe. Is it being out of work? Maybe? Is it all of the above? Maybe. I don't know but I do know that I've got to get a grip before I'm back at 225 pounds again.

The Stupidity Of The Medical System

The medical community in this country is screwed. That has been made apparent to me over the last week. When I went for my neurological tests the doctor who performed these tests told my primary physician that he felt that I might have spinal stenosis. This is the shrinking of the spinal column which causes pain which shoots down your butt into your legs. I found this to be totally out there because I have absolutely no pain in my back. As a matter of fact some of back bends that I do in yoga shock even my yoga teachers. Not only that but I often feel that my body craves these back bends. I need to do them. This doesn't sound like someone with spinal stenosis to me however I was ready to have the back MRI that Dr C told my primary care physican (PCP) that I should have. My PCP (Bob) agreed and wrote the prescription and seeing that I was having an MRI on my right foot for the supposed plantar fasciitis I figured we could save some time and money and have both done at the same time. Yeah, right!!!!!!

My insurance company declined the back MRI because Bob wrote the order. He is not affiliated with my insurance company but because he has been my doctor for 31 years I pay to go to him. The neurologist that did the tests is affiliated with my insurance company but wouldn't write the order for it because he didn't consider me his patient. He was just the test doctor and not MY doctor. So what does this all mean?

I have to go back to Dr C's office (neurologist) and wave hi to him, talk to him, pay a co-pay to see him and have him bill my insurance company for a visit that I don't need so that he can consider me his patient and write the prescription for the back MRI that I didn't go to him for in the first place. I went to him for my foot pain. Now he can't see me until July 21. Are we confused yet?

Now, the latest in this ridiculous story is that Dr C's office called and said that now they think it's not spinal stenosis and probably a pinched nerve. I don't think it's anything. I think they are crazy.

The MRI of my right foot and ankle is scheduled for Monday so I will have to have two separate procedures. Double the price. Double the hassle. Stupid.

WTF?

Ok, well, yesterday was not a fun day. I started with the vascular tests which consisted of a cute guy giving me an ultrasound all up and down my legs. As medical tests go it wasn't bad until he said "are you a smoker?" I replied that I had been but had quit years ago. Then I asked "why and how did you know?" He proceeded to tell me that he could see the damage that the smoking had done to my arteries and veins. Well, that's not what I wanted to hear especially after going through all I did to stop. Then he told me that I have plaque in my arteries. Again, not what you want or expect to hear especially after spending all those years walking, running and doing Richard Simmons videos. In the end he said that I had good circulation. Well, at least that's good news. Yeah...we'll see about that once the films are read and the report comes in. And that was the good part of the day.

Then came the neurological studies. OMG!! That was fun. I laid on a table and got electrical shocks up and down my legs. Some were small and others were big enough to have my legs jumping off the table. Not pleasant in any way. When Rosie (that was my tech) was finished with that the Doctor came in and started sticking little needles all up and down my legs. He got a very weird look on his face and said that I gave him confusing readings. OK, so I'm confusing. Then He made me roll on my side and he started sticking needles in my back and hips. OK, this was not what I had signed up for. He kept telling me to relax. Yeah, right. Easy for him to say. I'm the one who was getting stuck with needles all over my body.

Once all the needle sticking was over he started asking me if I had any back issues. Did I experience and pain, numbness or tingling? I told him no. I was there for my foot not my back. Well, he said that my foot was NOT Tarsal Tunnel Syndrome which is a good thing. No surgery....for that. He was more interested in my back which I must say feels fine. He ran and called my main squeeze doctor whose office is in the same building and then came in and said that he wanted me to have an MRI on my back. I'm supposed to have one on my foot because after all, that's why I went there. He said that I had an injury to my back which was "old" and by old he meant months not years old. I got dressed and went upstairs to Bob's (main squeeze) office for an explantion. When I got there Bob was on the phone with this doctor about me. Bob couldn't see me yesterday because he was booked solid however he me to wait to make the MRI appointment so that I can have both the foot and the back done at the same time. I have an appointment with Bob this afternoon to talk about all of this. I feel better talking to Bob about this stuff because he will explain it all to me and not pull any punches. He will tell me the truth.

I still don't know what is wrong with my foot and the pain continues. Now I have to worry about my back which felt fine until I was told it wasn't. As my friend Laura would say, OY VEY!!! What a mess. I guess I'll know more later on today. No exercise until I talk to Bob. I just hope my yoga is safe. Being in the medical loop sucks.

Living For My Bum Foot

So, I went to a new podiatrist the other day. Wow! What a difference from the useless Dr T that I have been going to for a few months. As soon as I walked in the door I knew I was going to see a better doctor. The offices were beautiful. Yes, it is in Weston which is a pain in the ass to get to but it's definitely doable and totally worth it.

The doctor seemed very knowledgeable and extremely cute which is a plus. He asked me some very interesting questions and gave me a foot exam. He played with my feet, asked me to walk for him and made me feel as if he was really on my side. It was a good feeling.

He sent me home with a TENS unit which I have to use 3 times a day for an hour. I have to ice my foot and then roll it on a tennis ball 3 times a day. I have to do exercises against the wall 3 times a day and do towel pickups 3 times a day. Oh yeah, it's good that I don't have job at the moment because who would have time to work?

I am waiting for the MRI place to call me to schedule the test. I have vascular studies and neurological tests scheduled for Monday and I'm hoping that the tests show that it's just Plantar Fasciitis and not Tarsal Tunnel Syndrome. Physical therapy starts Tuesday and I'll be doing it three times a week for a while.

No I am not giving up yoga. I just won't. I told Dr S that I was a yoga girl and he didn't say that I had to stop so I'm taking that as an okay to continue. It's the only exercise that I've been doing lately. I love it and won't give it up. No Vinyasa flow though. Just easy Hatha.

Well, hopefully all this will help and I'll be able to get my life back and stop living for my bum foot.