The True Test

I'm still doing really well even though the scale had gone back up to 146. I'm still feeling that click that I talked about before but the true test is coming. Kerry is going to Gainesville tonight and won't be back until Sunday night. This is the moment of truth.

I am well aware that I am vulnerable to binges when I am alone. I absolutely must have an alternative plan to saying home and eating this weekend. I know that tomorrow I can go see my Brother Jon. It was his birthday the other day so I should probably go to see him to give him a birthday hug.

Me and my Bro

I am also sure that I will be going out to dinner on Saturday night and healthy choices can be made when we hit our usual Saturday night haunt. It's a place called Tijuana Flats. They offer a black bean burrito that I can get "power light" which means they switch out the sour cream and cheese with low fat versions. This item comes in at 288 calories which is great in my mind. It's the chips that are a problem. I will try to take it easy there. Maybe I'll count them out and only eat 10. Yeah...right. :)

Sunday, I don't know yet but I do know that I must make some plans that don't include food. Maybe shopping? Nah...no fun without Kerry. The casino? Oh, I'd love to. Nah....no money. I need a hobby. LOL

current weight-146

Hey, Hey, I'm On My Way

I'm on my way. Yes I am. I got on the scale today and I saw 145.5! Yeah!! I really wanted to see 145 again and although there is a .5 attached to it I'm still there. I feel as if I am on the right track again. You know, there seems to be something that clicks inside of you when you are on track and I'm feeling that click. If I can stay the course I should be in the 130's in a few weeks. I would really love that. As I've often said 139.5 would be fine. For me, being in the 130's means I'm at my goal weight. It also means that my life is good. It seems that I can judge how my life is going by how much I weigh. Hummm.....

I know that ramping up my exercise is partially responsible for the downward moving scale. I have been going to the track and also doing a lot of yoga which although Richard doesn't consider it toning I sure do. I'm happy to say that I have continued my yoga practice even though Juliana has gone away for the whole summer. This is the first year that I have done this. I have been going to The Yoga Source which is a studio that offers all different kinds of yoga. I found Joy who teaches a wonderful Hatha Yoga class and I have really been enjoying her style of teaching.

Me in wheel pose

I have been posting on the clubhouse boards a lot more lately. I have been posting on the exercise boards and on Laura's thread every day. I always do well when I am consistently posting on Richard's website. It's good to keep in touch with others that are going through the same thing as me and the other Fabs in particular. I've been weighing in and posting it on Laura's thread. I've noticed that this keeps me on track. Bethy started her own thread there too. I hope it helps her. I'm not going to start my own thread. Someone needs to be there to answer everyone. :)

Hugging Richard

My eating has been really good too. I have been eating 3 meals and one or two snacks a day. Kerry being home has been a double edged sword. Having her around stops me from grazing and that has helped but Kerry likes ice cream at night and she loves to eat out and that is not good. I guess I just need to make a commitment to continue on the healthy lifestyle path and as my mentor Richard Simmons (and Nike) says just do it.

The Circle of Friendship

I have been doin' well the last few days. I am taking time for me. I have been going to the track early in the morning and powerwalking 3-4 miles like I used to do. It feels really good to get back to my old exercising ways. I need to keep it up.

Today should be kinda mellow. Kerry will be going to the library to study and Pat will be going to play golf so I am going to take advantage of being alone in the house. With Kerry home there isn't much alone time in the house. Don't get me wrong. I am not complaining. It is just a fact.

When I am alone today I will light my "circle of friendship" candles which I got at Richard's retreat last year. All of the attendees were given three votive candle holders that we had to label with our three favorite blessings. I picked my inner peace, family and friends and my dog Rigby and wrote them on the labels. All three of these things are extremely important to the general happiness of my life.

Richard and The Fab Four at last year's retreat

We all put our candles in the middle of the wood floor at Slimmons and lit them. There were alot of people at the retreat so there were alot of candles. We all sat down with Richard on the floor and talked about our blessings. Richard was wonderful that day. So loving and so caring. You could feel the joy of that moment. The light that radiated from the circle that was made with the candles was beautiful. It really was a special moment.

Sitting on the wood floor at Slimmons

When we (The Fab Four) got back to Laura's condo we decided to write the other Fab names on each of the candles and then light them again before dinner. It was another special moment for us. It meant a lot to me.

The Circle of Friendship

I light these candles when I meditate or practice yoga and try to relive the feelings that I have when I am with my fellow Fabbers. I must get back to LA this year. I need my Fab Four fix. I need to eat Laura's scrambled eggs and go the the Ramon place. I need to sit around the table and talk about anything and everything with Bethy, Vennie and Laura. I need our shopping trips and excursions. I need to feel that "I can do anything" feeling that I have when we are together. I need to feel our circle of friendship in person, up close and personal.

Feeling Fab at Slimmons

Laura, Bethy, Vennie, I miss and love you all!!!!

Why do I do these things?

OK. I have decided to get back on track....again. I stepped on the scale this morning and I am one pound away from a weight I haven't seen in a long time. Yes, I knew it as I was doing it. I know that I shouldn't be eating ice cream every night. I know I shouldn't be eating out all the time. I know I shouldn't be eating black and white cookies but I do these things anyway. Why is that, do you suppose? Why is it that even though I know I shouldn't be I am drinking the coffee with the crappy for you and caloric Hazelnut coffee creamer I do it anyway? Why do I do that? Why?

Why is it that I get up in the morning and the first thought I have is "What excuse can I use so I don't have to go to the track and exercise?" Why is that? Once I get there I actually enjoy my powerwalks. I love the music that I listen to (thanks Paul) and I love being outside in nature. I even enjoy being all smelly and sweaty when I am finished. Why would I not want to go? Why would I look for excuses? I even look for excuses to blow off yoga and you all know how much I love yoga. Why would I even think about not going?

Why would I not want to exercise here every day?

I need to exercise every day and eat more healthy food. I need to do these things so that I can bring down my marginally high blood pressure and cholesterol. I need to do these things so that I can fit into my clothes. I need to do these things so that I can be alive to see Kerry graduate medical school and become a doctor. I need to do these things so that I can enjoy my retirement years with Pat. I need to do these things so I can be here for my family and friends when and if they need me. I need to do these things to be happy.

One of my main reasons for stayng on track

So here I go again. Wish me luck.