One door closes......

My career as Richard Simmons has come to an end. Yesterday was my last shift at Curves and it was very hard to say goodbye to my ladies. They cried, I cried, everyone cried. I got loads of hugs and kisses, well wishes and phone numbers. I'm just sorry that I didn't get to see some of my favorite friends because it all happened so fast. Yesterday I was employed and today I'm not.

I am going to take my time in finding another job. I'm not going to take something that is not perfect for me. Curves was fun but it definitely not perfect. Working until 8:00pm was horrible. I missed seeing Pat when he got home from work and eating dinner at 9:00pm most nights and then going to bed was terrible. That is a sure way to gain weight and in the 18 months that I worked at Curves I gained 15 pounds. When I took the job I thought "oh, this is going to be great. I'll get lots of exercise" but in reality I didn't. I did lots of standing around, talking and watching other people work out. I guess I lost myself and became a Curves puppet. I allowed myself to be taken advantage of and treated badly by people who had no right to treat me that way. I started feeling worthless and two inches tall. I'm over that now.

I am back to working on myself to be the best person I can possibly be. My eating has improved by leaps and bounds since I made the decision to leave Curves and have taken on Ang's summer challenge. I had an experience this morning that I haven't had in years. I got on the scale and the number was so unbelievable that I jumped off and got back on to make sure the scale wasn't wrong the first time but the number was there the second time too. 150. Is it really possible that I lost 5.5 pounds in such a short period with only weight lifting and yoga for exercise? I guess it is.

Once my foot pain calms down (if it ever does) I am going to go back to my daily power walks. I always felt great walking outside listening to Paul (The Beatles) or disco or Cat Stevens. I definitely miss it. That's for sure. In the meantime, I will continue yoga, toning and may even, dare I say it?, do one of Richard's tapes from chair. I'm hoping that now that I'm not standing for 5 hours a night my foot will start feeling better but in the meantime I am going to do the best that I can. You know, the F***ing Agreement. Do the best you can with what you have.

Well, the Curves door has closed and I'm excited to see which door will open next.

Going For A Test Run

I gave my orthodics a test run at the track this morning and it went very well. Dr Tanner told me that he wanted me to start out slow and do one mile the first day. I had been away from the track for so long that I couldn't just stop after one mile so I did two miles. It felt good. No pain...yet. Now I'm off to yoga class and then later I have to work. That will be quite the test. Hopefully I won't be feeling any pain by the end of the night.

On another note, Kerry is coming in from Gainesville tomorrow for a few days. I can't wait to see her. It's been two months since I laid eyes on my girl and that's too long for this Mom. I am giving up free yoga day on Saturday to go shopping. I am so looking forward to shopping and talking and laughing with the kid. It's gonna be great. I'll only have until Wednesday though. She will be taking off to Washington DC for an AMSA convention and then back to Gainesville. I gonna try to take Monday night off so that we can spend that night together and the Kerry can come with me to Curves on Tuesday night. I'm going to be making the most of the time that we have together.

My New Orthodics

I picked up the custom inserts for my shoes yesterday. That'll be $400 not covered by insurance thank you very much. My podiatrist told me to wear them for one hour yesterday and one and a half today and just work up to wearing them all the time. Of course, I wore them to work last night and I forgot to bring my other inserts to switch out after an hour so I had to wear them all night. They feel really weird but I am going to keep wearing them. My foot has been feeling pretty good but I really haven't put it to the test. I spoke with Dr Tanner about going back to the track and he wants me to gradually work back up to my usual 3 to 4 mile walk. You know, one mile the first day, one and a half the next day. If I ever want to lose that pesky 10 pounds I have to start going for my daily powerwalk again. It's the only exercise that really works for me. I'm waiting for our weather to warm up so that I can go. I know that some of you may think that 50 degrees is like summer but to me it's cold. I don't go to the track when the temps turn cold like that and it's been cold for quite a while. Not the usual weather for us here in South Florida. I'm hoping that the temps go back up to the 60's or 70's soon. I want to try out my new orthodics.

Back To Real Life

Kerry's gone and life sucks again. I was saying to Pat this morning that it's like I have a hangover for a few days after she has been home for a long time and then leaves again. I have weird dreams like last night when I was dreaming about shopping in Neiman Marcus with the kid and getting into a fight with some lady over jeans (this actually almost happened) with Rigby being there. Just strange thoughts and dreams. When I look at them closely I can see that it's all about missing her and wishing we were geographically closer. The story of my life. Wishing I was geographically closer to people that I love.

I am about to get ready to go to the track and power walk. I'm going to try to increase my 3 miles to 4 but I'll see how I am feeling after 3. I have to work tonight and it being the first of the year I'm sure I will be very busy. I'm also sure I will be standing on my feet most of the night so I don't want to overdo. My foot is feeling better and I don't want to ruin that.

When I get back from the track I will have breakfast and then do some laundry. I am also going to work on my nonfood related goal for an hour of so. This will help me keep my head out of the fridge. By that time it will be off to work. I won't get home until after 8:00 tonight. It's a long day. Yep, back to real life.

Why do I do these things?

OK. I have decided to get back on track....again. I stepped on the scale this morning and I am one pound away from a weight I haven't seen in a long time. Yes, I knew it as I was doing it. I know that I shouldn't be eating ice cream every night. I know I shouldn't be eating out all the time. I know I shouldn't be eating black and white cookies but I do these things anyway. Why is that, do you suppose? Why is it that even though I know I shouldn't be I am drinking the coffee with the crappy for you and caloric Hazelnut coffee creamer I do it anyway? Why do I do that? Why?

Why is it that I get up in the morning and the first thought I have is "What excuse can I use so I don't have to go to the track and exercise?" Why is that? Once I get there I actually enjoy my powerwalks. I love the music that I listen to (thanks Paul) and I love being outside in nature. I even enjoy being all smelly and sweaty when I am finished. Why would I not want to go? Why would I look for excuses? I even look for excuses to blow off yoga and you all know how much I love yoga. Why would I even think about not going?

Why would I not want to exercise here every day?

I need to exercise every day and eat more healthy food. I need to do these things so that I can bring down my marginally high blood pressure and cholesterol. I need to do these things so that I can fit into my clothes. I need to do these things so that I can be alive to see Kerry graduate medical school and become a doctor. I need to do these things so that I can enjoy my retirement years with Pat. I need to do these things so I can be here for my family and friends when and if they need me. I need to do these things to be happy.

One of my main reasons for stayng on track

So here I go again. Wish me luck.

It's Great To Be Back

I am feeling much better about myself. Over the last few days I have been consistent with my exercise. I have been getting out of the house very early and that seems to be one of the keys to actually getting it done. On weekdays I get up with Pat at 5:30am. I have a cup of coffee with him and give him his goodbye hug, kiss and obligatory "wear your seatbelt both ways". Then I take Rigby aka The Criminal out for his early morning walk over to the pooping grounds. As soon as I get back in the house I MUST get dressed in my workout clothes, get my water and ipod together and get the hell out of there. If I sit down for another cup of coffee or boot up the computer I am dead meat. I won't go. I've also noticed that I actually fight with myself with an inner dialog of "OK, get up and go", "nah, I don't feel like it", "you've gotta go", "It looks like rain so I won't go". I go back and forth with myself from the moment I wake up until I actually find myself at the track walking. That's exactly what happened to me this morning. It happens every morning. Lately Good Claudia has been winning that fight.

Pat and I out for dinner

Rigby aka The Criminal

My eating habits have also been much better lately. I am sure most of that is due to the fact that The Kid came home on last Friday night. I always eat better when she is around. I'm not sure why that is and I must figure it out. I think it is partially due to the fact that I am not alone much any more. I have noticed being alone always causes food indiscretions. Is it boredom? Maybe. Is it loneliness? Maybe. I have also noticed that I am more willing to cook when Kerry is home. I actually make lunch instead of grazing from noon to dinner. I am sure this is part of my new found will power.

Kerry and Mac

Another decision that I made to help me get back on track was to start posting on the Richard Simmons boards again. I have been missing in action for a couple of months now. Actually, now that I say that I realize that I stopped posting right around the time that I started working. The ladies at work are very different from my Richard Simmons clubhouse friends. The ladies that I work with at Curves look to me for motivation. I go to my clubhouse friends for motivation. Its a different thing. I felt better after my first post on the boards. There is an accountability there that is not there at work and what a wonderful welcome back I received. I had no idea how much I was missed. Everyone was so happy to have me back and the PM's (private messages) were really wonderful. It is great to be back.

In LA with my mentor Richard Simmons

OK, so I've had some interesting revelations about myself and my behavior. I realize that I am really just a work in progress and I am progressing here and there. Now keeping it up......

Back in the saddle again

Lately I have not been going to the track as often as I should. I have used the excuse that I don't have to go because I work at Curves and get a lot of exercise there. While it is true that I work at Curves it is not true that I get that much real aerobic exercise while I am working. Usually, I am standing in the circle and moving but not enough to get my heart rate up and certainly not for the 50-60 minutes that I need to keep my weight under control. I have finally come to the realization that I need to go back to my old exercise habits and go to the track every day or at least 6 days a week. I started back on Wednesday and walked 3-4 miles every day so far.

My favorite place to exercise-"The Track"

I also have to start weight training in my home again. Yep, I stopped doing that too. I always found it easier to stick to my walking regiment than to the weekly weight lifting sessions. I know that yoga definitely helps with toning but it is not a substitute for 3 good, solid, hard, weight training sessions every week and I need to get back to that as well.

So.......I am here to say that I am getting back in the exercise saddle again. I have already started going to the track again and it feels great to be back. My attitude has improved and the scale is already moving in the downward direction albeit very slowly.

My weight training sessions will be starting today. I will be working my shoulders, chest and triceps with free weights while watching the Grey's Anatomy DVDs that the kid bought for me on my birthday. Oh yeah, I am totally addicted to Grey's but that's a subject for another blog. LOL

The cast of Grey's Anatomy

It feels great to be back in the saddle again. I guess I never should have gotten off the horse but we all have to learn our life lessons in our own way. I'll let you know how it goes.

Outside Versus Inside

I am off today. Yay!! I say yay because I haven't been to the track since I started working last week. It took a week for me to get comfortable with my new schedule so when I woke up today I decided that today was going to be the day that I get back. Get back to where I once belonged.

I have been getting all of my exercise inside lately. Inside the gym at work, inside the yoga studio and inside my home. I had forgotten how much I love my walks at "the track".

It isn't really a track in the traditional sense. It's more of a walking park. It is one mile in length with each tenth of a mile marked off. This makes it easy if you want to incorporate some jogging into your workout. You can walk a tenth or two and then jog a tenth or two. That's what I usually do.

It is a gravel track which has allowed me to power walk consistently for over 15 years. My left knee is screwed from a motorcycle accident many years ago and power walking 4 miles every day would have been impossible if not for the gravel track. The pain would have been too great but the gravel makes the surface much more pliable and I don't feel much pain after walking.

It really is a beautiful place. It is a little piece of the country hidden in the hustle and bustle of Coral Springs. There are trees and plants growing all over. There is also a canal along the back of the park with turtles, ducks and fish living there. We even have 6 resident cats. They are always on the prowl for a lizard or stalking the ducks. We make sure the cats are very well fed. We don't want the ducks don't become sitting ducks for the cats.

It was cool this morning with clear skies. The air was crisp and clear. The birds were singing and the cats were waiting for Rose to come with their breakfast. As I was walking the sun was rising and the sky was turning from black to pink and orange and then blue. My music of choice for today was the soundtrack from The Beatles Love show. I suddenly realized that I had really missed this place that I call "the track" which is really named Ralph Diaz Memorial Park. I missed my outside exercise. I had decided that on working days I would skip the track as I don't want to burn myself out. I am rethinking that decision. I'm thinking that even if I am getting my exercise at work I should still be going to this place that helps my spirit fly. OK, outside wins.