Never Give Up

Well, it's started. Kerry left on Monday afternoon and I haven't stopped eating since. It's actually amazing the amount of food that I can consume without really thinking about it. I let the loneliness I felt for my daughter overwhelm me and started eating. And it's the worst kind of eating. Emotional. What gets me is that I am aware of it. I know I'm doing it but don't or can't stop. What's up with that? Huh?

Breakfast is good. It's always good. I always have either a half of a bagel with one tablespoon of whipped cream cheese and an orange or a bowl of oatmeal with berries. Sometimes I even go all the way and make myself a mixture of Egg Beaters with onion, mushrooms and any other kind of veggie and a piece of toast. All of these are pretty good choices for a healthy breakfast. I do indulge in too much coffee in the morning but as for as food goes I think my breakfast choices are pretty good. After that I am screwed.

I don't really eat lunch. I start my grazing and it doesn't stop until I start getting ready for work. Now I have to ask myself is it grazing or binging? Does it really matter? All I know is that I don't really eat a real lunch. I just go for whatever is around. Fruit, cheese, almonds, lots of bread and rolls. Sometimes, every now and then, I'll have some soup or leftovers from the night before but I never stop there. I just keep going, eating until I get ready for work which is usually about 2:30. I've tried to change this but I keep going back to my bad habits.

Now looking at this a little closer it seems that I have food difficulties from lunch time to dinner time. OK, now that's about 4 hours or so. Maybe I need to find something to do during this time of day so that my head doesn't end up in the fridge looking for something that isn't even there. I wish I was more like my unbelievably talented and crafty friend Laura who makes beautiful jewelry. I've tried knitting, crocheting, painting by numbers and many other things. I'm just not very crafty so I always struggle and finally lose interest. I guess I need to find something interesting I can do during the time when I usually end up looking for food. I need to change things up. Not something that comes easily to me, change. I will try though. It's all about trying. Right? Like Richard always says "Never give up".

My time with the kid

What a glorious few days they were. From the moment Kerry hit town life was fun again. She started talking as soon as she got home and didn't stop until she pulled out of the driveway with her dad this morning. Well, I guess that's not completely true. She stopped while she was sleeping:)

We shopped and shopped and shopped some more. We watched Sex and The City reruns and the movie too. We read Vogue together, had lunch together and laughed our asses off at all the cosmetic surgery we saw at the Town Center Mall in Boca Raton.

The kid, my heart and soul

She brings out the best in me. She is my heart and soul. She is my happiness and my future. She is my joy and my very best friend in the world. I watch in awe of her as he travels all over in the pursuit of becoming a doctor and helping the world.

Today she went to Washington DC for a conference. In the summer she will be going to Athens, Ga for another medical convention and then it's off to Gambia. Yep, Gambia as in Africa. She is raising money for mosquito nets to bring to the people there. They can't afford them and apparently the mosquitoes are a source of many different nasty diseases. She also hopes to learn some things to help her in her career.

So....here I am, alone and feeling lonely. I go through this every time Kerry comes home for any period of time. It usually takes a few days to get back to myself. At least I go on vacation in 2 weeks. I'm feeling like I need one.