Never Give Up

Well, it's started. Kerry left on Monday afternoon and I haven't stopped eating since. It's actually amazing the amount of food that I can consume without really thinking about it. I let the loneliness I felt for my daughter overwhelm me and started eating. And it's the worst kind of eating. Emotional. What gets me is that I am aware of it. I know I'm doing it but don't or can't stop. What's up with that? Huh?

Breakfast is good. It's always good. I always have either a half of a bagel with one tablespoon of whipped cream cheese and an orange or a bowl of oatmeal with berries. Sometimes I even go all the way and make myself a mixture of Egg Beaters with onion, mushrooms and any other kind of veggie and a piece of toast. All of these are pretty good choices for a healthy breakfast. I do indulge in too much coffee in the morning but as for as food goes I think my breakfast choices are pretty good. After that I am screwed.

I don't really eat lunch. I start my grazing and it doesn't stop until I start getting ready for work. Now I have to ask myself is it grazing or binging? Does it really matter? All I know is that I don't really eat a real lunch. I just go for whatever is around. Fruit, cheese, almonds, lots of bread and rolls. Sometimes, every now and then, I'll have some soup or leftovers from the night before but I never stop there. I just keep going, eating until I get ready for work which is usually about 2:30. I've tried to change this but I keep going back to my bad habits.

Now looking at this a little closer it seems that I have food difficulties from lunch time to dinner time. OK, now that's about 4 hours or so. Maybe I need to find something to do during this time of day so that my head doesn't end up in the fridge looking for something that isn't even there. I wish I was more like my unbelievably talented and crafty friend Laura who makes beautiful jewelry. I've tried knitting, crocheting, painting by numbers and many other things. I'm just not very crafty so I always struggle and finally lose interest. I guess I need to find something interesting I can do during the time when I usually end up looking for food. I need to change things up. Not something that comes easily to me, change. I will try though. It's all about trying. Right? Like Richard always says "Never give up".