Happy Birthday Peewee

Today is Kerry's birthday. It is also the first time we have not been together on this all important day which depresses the crap out of me. I'll be seeing her on Wednesday though. We will celebrate then. Kerry's birthday always has a theme of turkey (or in our case, tofurky) and birthday cake.

I can't believe that all important night was 22 years ago. It seems like just yesterday that I squeezed her out, laid her on my chest and promised her that I would never be one of those horrible moms who constantly told their kids what to do. I was going to let her grow up as a free spirit to make all of her own decisions. LOL What a moron I was. LOL "Clean your room", "Do your homework", "Call me when you get there" LOL LOL I've been telling her what to do for 22 years and I have no intention of stopping now. LOL

Kerry at about 6 months old

Kerry today

Well, after 22 years of telling her what to do she has turned out extremely well. Happy Birthday Peewee. I couldn't be a happier or prouder Mom.

Breakfast Was On Me

So, yesterday morning my friend S called and asked if I wanted to go to the casino. It's really hard for me to say no to this. Yep, I love to gamble. We always say we are going to do something else but we always end up at one of the local casinos. I told her that I had to work in the afternoon but if she wanted to go early I was up and ready to go.

She picked me up and we drove on over to the Seminole Coconut Creek Casino. It is not my favorite casino because they don't have blackjack and it is usually very smoky but they have slots and thats all I need to have a good time.

The Coconut Creek Casino at night

On the way S had the radio on and as we were talking I heard the first few notes of Sargent Pepper that gave me a good vibe. Paul McCartney's voice always makes me feel happy and optimistic. I was singing along and I said to S "this is a good sign". She laughed and we continued on to the parking lot and trolled for a space. Even though it was 8:30 in the morning the lot was crowded and spots were at a premium. We finally found one and went in to start our gambling experience.

We sat down at the machines and S immediately won $60. I, as usual, lost $50 in a little over 10 minutes. I was totally annoyed and started whining saying that I was tired of losing and hungry because I hadn't had breakfast yet. We decided to hit the breakfast buffet and we have a rule that whoever is winning buys the food. S was buying. I never buy.

On the way to the Fresh Harvest buffet we noticed some new 2 cent progressive machines that we hadn't played yet so we decided to stop off and give them a try before breakfast. S immediately hit on her machine and won about $100 bucks. I was so mad. I was bitching and moaning about how my machine was a dog and how badly this machine sucked and how I never win and how she always does all the while sitting and pushing the buttons watching the last of my money going down the drain.

All of a sudden my machine changed it's video screen and a train appeared. I had no idea what was happening. There were 5 flashing buttons and I didn't know what to do so I asked S what to do. She came over and told me to push the buttons one by one. Well, I pushed the flashing buttons and the train on the screen started tooting it's horn. S started screaming that I had won the progressive jackpot but I still didn't know what was going on. Well the casino attendant came over and informed me that I had just won $1800!!!!! I couldn't believe it. I've never won anything before. I sat at the machine as she peeled of 18 $100 dollar bills. Of course, she also handed me a W-2 and told me that I was going to have to pay taxes on the money. She also told me that at the end of the year I could get a printout of my account and any losses that I may have incurred could be written off against this jackpot win. I called Pat and Kerry right away and we celebrated over the phone. It was all very exciting. Unfortunately I didn't have my camera with me so I don't have any pictures of all this.

I was totally blown away. I'm still blown away. I can't believe that I won $1800 on a 2 cent machine. I decided to put some of the money in the bank so that I'll have money to pay for a trip to LA someday in the future. I am going to keep some of it so that I can go back to the casino from time to time and have a great time on their money. I'm also going to do some holiday shopping with some of it. Life is good.

Needless to say, I bought breakfast.

Foot Solutions

My heel pain has been ruining my life. I haven't been able to exercise, I've been having trouble standing at work and I've been in pain all the time. I've been feeling bad for Rigby because I haven't been able to go for much of a walk lately and he loves a good long walk. I'm like the Michael Phelps commercial where he takes his dog out, looks at his watch and says "go". Even going to the bathroom when I wake up in the middle of the night has been , you'll excuse the expression, a nightmare.

Yesterday I decided to go to Foot Solutions to see what they could do for me. Foot Solutions is a well known place to go when you are having foot issues. Some of my running and yoga friends have told me to go there. I was in so much pain yesterday that I couldn't just sit around and wait for this to go away any longer. If this didn't work I was going to go to the doctor.

I was greeted by Bob who sat me down and started giving me a foot exam. He moved them around, played with my toes and ankles and just generally got off on playing with my feet. Then he took me over to this really cool computer contraption which had a pad that I stood on. The screen showed how my weight was distributed on my feet. He also had me walk back and forth and back and forth and back and forth while he watched me. It was an interesting exam to say the least.

To make a long story short, it seems that I have very flexible feet. As a matter of fact I have the most flexible feet this guy has ever seen and he's been looking at feet for many years. Because I have these flexifeet I need special motion control shoes and inserts. I have been wearing the wrong shoes all these years . He sold me Brooks running shoes and arch support inserts which I must say feels really weird but guess what? I feel better already and it's only been one day. I was able to stand at work last night and not be crippled this morning. I think it's working. Yay!

They also had some REALLY cute black sparkly incredibly comfortable low heels too. Some of you might remember that I love black sparkly shoes so much that I bought a pair on Rodeo Drive a year or so ago. They are not the most comfortable shoes in the world but I do smile whenever I look at them. Once I recover from the cost of the new shoes and inserts I may just find myself back there to buy these other shoes. I love shoes. It's doesn't matter if you gain 10 pounds. They always fit.

OK, Now I'm Pissed Off

Ok, so I weighed in yesterday and it really sucked. It's amazing how easy it is to gain 10 pounds. It's also amazing how long it takes to lose 10 pounds. My eating habits have been horrific and exercise has been basically nonexistent because of this damned heel.

Now I'm pissed. I got off the scale and ran into the living room and did one of my very favorite Richard Simmons videos, Disco Sweat. I made sure to stretch the hell out of my heel when I was done. I definitely felt the pain an hour or so after I was done but I did it and that's all that matters. Now I just have to keep it up and watch my food. Ah shit! Watching my food. My two least favorite words in the english language are PORTION CONTROL.

Now that the Fab Four are seriously talking about a reunion in LA in March I'm going to really work hard to get the 10 pounds that I gained off before I go. I know I can count on my fellow fabbies for motivation. Besides, I would not want to show up at Slimmons to see Richard with extra weight on. That in itself is enough to get me off my ass and do this. Well, I gotta go now and get off my ass and do this.

The Fab Four at Slimmons last year

Angela's Party

Saturday night was Angela's going away party and it was lots of fun. Tijuana Taxi has a wonderful staff and our waitress took very good care of us.

Our beautiful waitress

We all ordered our drinks (in my case a mango margarita) and before long we were feeling no pain.

Lisa (my boss), Angela and Dina

Betsy and Carol

We all chipped in and bought a beautiful silver bracelet for Angela. Lisa and I picked out charms that reflected life here in Florida so that every time Angela wore it she would think of us. There was a fish, a flip flop, dolphins, a sand dollar, a sea shell and of course a little margarita glass.

Angela showing off her new bracelet

The Curves girls. Dina, Judy, Marie, Me, Angela, Lisa and Betsy

Angela finishing off her huge drink

I'm going to miss you Ang. My nights at Curves won't be the same without you.

Busy Saturday

I have lots to do today. I say that as I am sitting on my bed with the computer and not doing all of the things that I have to do. My new big screen TV has turned out to be a problem. I can't seem to get off my ass and away from it but today I will.

I have to go food shopping today. I don't have any good food around so I will go to Publix and stock up. I will buy milk, fruit, veggies, meat for Pat and Morningstar Farms meat substitutes for me. Oh yeah, bread too. I have a problem with bread. I love newly baked, soft, squishy bread. I'll have to keep myself from eating the whole loaf. Toilet paper and paper towels will be in my shopping cart today too. No eating problems there. LOL

I have to dye my hair today. Looking in the mirror yesterday I realized that I looked like an eighty year old lady with all of my gray hair. I'm also going to get a little crazy and buy some highlights. First I'll do my dark brown thing and a few days later I'm going to try a few red highlights. I hope it will turn out well.

I have to do laundry today too. I have a going away party at Tijuana Taxi tonight for one of my very favorite Curves ladies, Angela and I have nothing to wear. She is leaving next week and moving back to Washington DC. Her husband couldn't find a job here but was able to score work in DC. I'll miss the hell out of Angela. She is fun, beautiful and full of life. I'll miss her nightly visits to Curves. I'm sure we will all be drinking Margaritas in Angela's honor. I plan on taking pictures at the party. It should be fun.

I have to do a mini grooming job on Rigby today too. His ears are way too long. They fall into his food dish when he eats and they get all crusty so I'm going to cut them down. If Mac is any indication of my grooming skills Rigby will be funny looking when I am done.

Rigby in need of a haircut

I also have to call my brother Jon today. I need to know if he is planning on coming here for Thanksgiving or going to his new girlfriend's house. I'm good either way. Whatever makes him happy makes me happy. After all Kerry's coming home next week and it's all good from there.

I also hope to get a chance to go to Foot Solutions to get some inserts for my shoes. My heel is still hurting and it really sucks. I wish my foot would get better. If it doesn't get better soon it'll be a visit to my very favorite Dr Berman. I am still unable to exercise and afraid to get on the scale.

See ya soon.

Getting Old Sucks

I'm in trouble. I've developed this pain in the heel of my right foot. I've been checking it out online and it looks like I may have Planter Fascilitis. It started about 2 or 3 weeks ago and I really didn't pay much attention to it because it wasn't that bad in the beginning. After a while it got worse so I started taking an anti-inflammatory for it but that's really not working. After reading up on this condition I don't really know that there is much I can do about it except hope it goes away or get shots in my heel which I am not ready to do yet.

This is not a good thing for someone who needs to lose about 10 pounds and who likes to power walk for her exercise. It was hurting enough that I gave that up for a few days and decided to try a Richard Simmons video instead. Well, I found out this morning that it wasn't the greatest idea. I'm going to have to lay off for a while but my weight is not going to go down by laying off exercise. It seems like the only thing I can do is yoga and weight lifting neither of which is going to give me the cardio exercise that I need to burn calories. The extra 10 or 15 pounds that I am carrying around is only making this worse. Obesity is one of the causes of Planter Fascilitis.

This condition is also going to be a problem working at Curves. It's hard to work out with the ladies when you are in pain and sitting around is not an option. They need someone to workout with them and push them and I'm not sure I can do that now. I'm thinking that I'll just go on the machines and not do the marching or jogging on the recovery boards. I'm working tonight so we'll see how it goes.

I've also been having some trouble with my left wrist. I noticed that in yoga about a month ago. It comes and goes and feels like a touch of arthritis. Not much I can do about that other than get a brace so that's on the list of things to do today.

Oy vey. I'm falling apart. Getting old sucks!!

ps-Kerry is going to Gambia (kill me now) over the summer and has started a blog. It's on my list of favorite blogs. Check it out.

Halloween Memories and Recommedations

When I was growing up in Long Beach I used to go trick or treating with my older brother Jon on Halloween. He is 3 1/2 years older than me and as you might expect he couldn't wait to dump me at every turn. I would follow him around lagging behind, calling his name, crying and being just a general pain in the ass.

We lived around the corner from The Laurel movie theater. It was an huge old style movie theater with high ornate ceilings and a balcony where Long Beach's young people would go to makeout. Jon got stuck taking me to The Laural every Saturday morning and of course, he would dump me as soon as we got there.

The Laurel Movies and Luncheonette

The Laurel would show scary movies around Halloween and most of the time my Mom wouldn't let me go when they were playing. I was prone to nightmares and these movies didn't help things. I remember being really mad at her for not letting me see Gorgo. Gorgo was a Godzilla wannabe and Mom knew that it had all the trappings of a movie that would scare the crap out of me. I wonder why she didn't think this stuff when Thirteen Ghosts showed up playing at The Laurel when I was about 9 or so.

Jon and Little Sister PITA(pain in the ass)

Jon took me to the movies that day and when we got there we were given special glasses on the way in. It was filmed in the old style 3-D and you needed the glasses to see the movie without all the blurring. I remember that it didn't take long for me to get a really uncomfortable and funny feeling in my stomach once the movie started. I started whining to Jon who was partying with our neighbor friend Layne. Just like any older brother he more than didn't want to be bothered with me.

As the movie went on I got more and more scared and as a little girl would do, I started to cry. Well, that was more than Jon could take. It was totally uncool to be stuck with your little sister at the movies but even more so when she was crying. Instead of taking me home or doing some other good brotherly thing he got up, told me he was going to get candy and never came back. There I was absolutely scared out of my wits crying up a storm. A friendly stranger talked me down and when the movie was over I ran home hysterical. Jon got into big trouble with Mom for that one and me? I didn't sleep for weeks. Neither did Mom.

Jon, Me and Layne in our 20's

I was angry with Jon for many years over the Thirteen Ghosts incident and have thrown it in his face often over the fourty plus years since it happened. Of course, all these years Jon has called me a wimp. He remembers it as a stupid movie that was unworthy of the stink that I put up. I remembered it as being the scariest movie I ever saw.

Recently I saw that Thirteen Ghosts was going to be on TV and I decided to watch it to prove to myself that I have actually grown up and would be able to watch it with no fear. I also wanted to prove to myself that I was right and Jon was a crappy brother at the time.

I got my drink, settled in and waited for the movie to start. Once it started it didn't take very long for me to start feeling uncomfortable. I felt the same feeling in the pit of my stomach as I had felt 40 years ago. Well, I lasted about 20 minutes and decided that this time I would not sit and cry. This time I would change the channel.

Jon and I still laugh and joke about Thirteen Ghosts even though I know that I was right and he was wrong. The movie was scary and Jon had been a crappy brother. He has since redeemed himself but little sisters don't forget this stuff.

If you are looking for a scary movie to watch for Halloween try the old original Thirteen Ghosts. It's an oldie but a goodie. Another good one is the original movie called The Haunting. I saw that one at The Laural with Jon too. Once again, it scared the crap out of me but this time Jon stayed with me through the whole thing. I guess he felt guilty. Nah....Oh yeah...don't forget The Crawling Eye. It's another great Halloween flick.

Happy Halloween to all and step away from the candy. :)

Early Voting and Happy Birthday Ma

Well, we did it. We waited on line at the North Regional Library in Coral Springs for 2 hours to vote early. It really wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. We met some very nice people and the time went really quickly. There was a lot of talk about the wording of the state amendments. It seems that in some cases if you vote yes you are really voting no. We had a real good time with that. One person brought her little 9 week old grey schnauzer puppy to the polls and Kerry was totally taken with the dog. Fawning over the dog took up some time. We were both very happy that we were able to vote and now the deed is done. I've made my choice and that's it. I feel very good about voting early. Of course, after we finished voting we treated ourselves by going to the Town Center Mall. Retail therapy is the best. LOL
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Yesterday was what would have been my mother's 89th birthday. Yep, she was a Halloween baby and she used to complain about it. She told me that her birthday parties always had a Halloween theme to them and that bothered her. She wanted a Happy Birthday theme. That was my Mom though. She was a complainer. It was what she did best. I was the listener. It was what I did best. I am still the listener only the complainer has changed. Now it's Kerry doing the complaining.

Kerry the complainer with Pat

This is how I remember Ma. This pic was taken by my brother Jon in the 70's. Note the ciggie.


Kerry reminds me of my mother in many ways. It's comforting, really. It's as if my Mom is still with me in some way. They are very much alike in their likes and dislikes and I often tell Kerry that she is just like her Nana. I guess having Kerry makes it a little easier to accept that my Mom is gone. She was my biggest champion and fan. She adored the ground that I walked on and I could always count on her. I totally miss the hell out of her.

Me and Ma at my baby shower...a long time ago

Happy Birthday, Ma. Yeah, I know. "Don't call me Ma".

Kerry's First Election

Kerry is going to be 22 on November 24. I remember the night that she was born in such detail that it seems impossible that it was almost 22 years ago. I think about her life to this point it seems like a blurr. So many wonderful times and so few problems. What a truly lucky mom I am.

Baby Kerry

Now that she is at an adult age there aren't as many "firsts" as there were when she was a kid. Things like first step, first day of school, first boyfriend, first car just kept coming while she was young but now that she is an adult there are not as many of those moments, those "firsts". There is one coming up, though. Kerry is coming home next weekend so that she can cast her very first vote in an election and it's the big one, too. The presidential election. She is very excited at this particular "first". She wants me to vote with her that day so that she can always remember it as another important life moment that we did together.

Kerry all grown up

I remember my first vote and it's a scary thought. I voted for Richard Nixon. Can you believe it? Richard Nixon. I am happy to say the second time I voted I had the brains to vote for someone else. It was George McGovern. I felt strongly about my choice and was very disappointed that we lost. I felt much better after Watergate happened. It proved that I had been right.

Kerry's first election is a pivotal one for our nation and I'm excited about sharing this with "the kid". She's old enough to vote. I guess she's not a kid anymore.

Doing The Best That I Can

I am doing the best that I can just like I tell Kerry when she calls and is all upset about an upcoming test. Just do the best you can. Yep, that's what I'm doing and I guess it's all anyone can do.

I am doing the best I can at work. While I may not be making a crapload of money I realize that I am lucky to have a job at all not to mention one that I enjoy. I love helping "my ladies" enjoy their exercise time and as I've said before in other blog entries, I learn a lot from them so it is a real give and take. I give them encouragement and they share their knowledge and life stories. I worry about them though. The economy is hitting them hard and there is some thought that the money that they spend on Curves could be better spent on bread, milk and gas. There is definitely some truth in that however if they don't exercise they won't be healthy enough to go the the grocery store or be driving their cars. They say that they will go for walks for exercise but as they say that to me we both know that they won't. I hope they make the right decision and stay. For them and for me.

My Curves

I am doing the best that I can with my weight. Well.....maybe not. I'd like to think that I am doing my best but I know I'm not. My food has been pretty horrible lately and I've also been lazy when it comes to my exercise. I'm finding a lot of excuses for not going to the track or getting in my weight lifting. Like right now, today. I pulled my back out (doing what, I don't know) but I can't exercise. It's a great excuse but it is also a fact. The only physical activity that I have been true to is yoga. I still go to my classes and also practice at home. I love it but I realize I need more than that. My waistline continues to expand along with my love of food. Yeah, it's a pretty negative picture but on the brighter side every day is a new start. Yeah, the first day of the rest of my life. Another bright spot is a very long conversation that I had on the phone with my fellow fabbie, Laura, who never fails to bring me back down to earth when we talk about this. She keeps me sane about this by telling me to just do the best that I can.

Practicing yoga...Wheel pose

There is not a hell of a lot that I can do about the ecomony but I can do the best that I can in my little world. I can keep an eye on our money by checking the stock market every day but not get crazy from it. I can keep reading and learning about all things financial and continue making good sound financial decisions such as not crapping my money away at the local casinos and banking as much as possible. I'll be happy when I can fly off to LA for a Fab reunion because I was able to save money by keeping out of the casinos. Yeah, doing the best that I can with my money will pay off big in the end.

Our last Fab Four Reunion

I do the best that I can as a mom. I am ALWAYS there for the kid. If she needs me I am totally there for her no matter what it is that she needs. This one is very easy for me. Kerry means everything to me and doing the best for her brings out the best in me.

"The Kid"

I will also do the best I can do for my county. That means I will be sure to vote. It's the least I can do and the best I can do. I hope you will all do the best you can do too.

New Dentist Anxiety

I cracked a tooth over the weekend. In the past I've had root canals, cavities filled, new crowns and even two apicoectomies. Being the self professed "dental queen" you would think that a trip to the dentist would be no big deal. Besides the normal anxiety that a person feels about sitting in the dentist chair and the huge expense that sitting in the chair always turns out to be I am also feeling new dentist anxiety.

My family went the the same dentist for 20 years. We were very happy with Dr Romer. He was a nice guy and always felt bad whenever he had to send me to the endodontist for a root canal or whatever. To top it off he was also a Gator (Go Gators). Now that's a reason to love a dentist. LOL We were all very comfortable with Dr Romer so dental issues were not as scary as they could have been. Then a few months ago he did the unthinkable. He retired and sold his practice to a just out of dental school gal who didn't give two squats about her new patients. Both Kerry and and Pat had bad exeriences with her so it was time to find a new dentist.

We asked our Endo guy, Dr Flax who I totally love and he suggested this new guy Dr Spector. Pat went to him and liked him a lot. It is now my turn and I am totally anxiety ridden. The expense alone is enough to send me into the refrigerator and I must admit that I have already allowed this to get to me. I'm back into the 150's. As my fellow Fabbie Laura would say oy vey.

A Quick Check In

A quick post....I got on the scale and I was back in the 140's. Well, 148.5 actually. I know it's only 1.5 pounds but I'm back in the 140's and that means goal #1 has been met. Now if I can just stay there.......

A phone call a few days ago from my wonderful friend and fellow Fabbie, L, really helped put me back on track. She always knows the right thing to say to me to make me feel better and motivated so thanks L.......

All else is good. Working hard, feeling good.

See y'all. Did I just say y'all? LOL

Struggling with my weight.....again

Here I go again. Struggling with my weight again. I stepped on the scale the day before yesterday and there it was. The number that I feel strikes the alarm. 150. It's a good 10 pounds out of my "acceptable weight range" and screams at me that the time is now to get a grip on myself.

I knew it when I stepped on the scale. I knew it before I weighed in. I really do not live in some dream world where I really think I am doing well and keeping the weight off. I know when my food is out of control and my exercise nonexistent. That little voice inside me tells me. Is that little voice me or Richard Simmons? I guess the answer to that question doesn't really matter. That fact that the voice is speaking to me is the issue and do I listen to it? God forbid.

OK. It's time to get a grip before I wake up one day in the future with 50 or 100 extra pounds to lose. The first step is to get back to daily exercise. I went to the track on Monday and power walked 4 miles. I also lifted weights that focused on my legs, shoulders and biceps. Yesterday I went to the track and power walked 4 more miles. Today is vinyasa yoga day and if you think yoga is easy try a vinyasa flow class. It will change your mind. I also plan to lift weights later on today and focus on my chest, back and triceps. Tomorrow will be double yoga day which means 3 hours of yoga and I have plans to meet my friend Sandy at the track to power walk on Friday. It looks like, as usual, exercise is the easy part. The hard part is the food.

I think I'll tackle that tomorrow.

Busy And Lazy All At The Same Time

Hi Everybody, :)

Yeah, I'm still here. I really don't have any excuses for not posting other than I have been busy and lazy. Ah...now that's interesting. Busy and lazy all at the same time.

Let's see. Busy. OK. Busy with work. Not only have I been working my regular shifts I have also been filling in when needed as well as going around to local businesses and schools to try to spread the word about Curves. You see, there are some health insurance policies that include full payment to come to our facility. We have lots of teachers and Broward County employees that are coming free of charge and we are trying to stir up some interest at these places. We are also trying to make some new contacts around town. Bra stores, tanning salons, nail salons, day spas and any other place that we think the ladies might hang out. New sign ups can sometimes mean more commissions. Note I said sometimes. No, commissions are not paid for the ladies who sign up with insurance. Only non-insurance people are counted for commission payment however we are always trying to increase our membership. The club must make a profit or I won't have a job. Yeah, I 'm busy keeping my job.

I've also been busy with Kerry. She calls me in between classes so she has someone to talk to while she is walking around campus. She calls me 100 times a day. Well, maybe not 100 but many, many times a day. If you count up all the calls we spend hours on the phone every day. She decided to come home last weekend and we had a really wonderful time together. We went shopping! Surprise, surprise. We spent way too much money on a Diane Von Furstenberg Dress that looked so fantastic on Kerry that I just couldn't say no. There's my problem again. Saying no. I don't do it well especially when it comes to the kid. I really don't mind working for a month to pay for Kerry's new dress. LOL. It's all worth it in the end. It's time spent with my only daughter who means everything to me. So, yeah, I'm busy with Kerry.

I'm busy with yoga. I have increased my yoga practice to classes three times a week along with my own private practice which is done a couple of times a week in my living room. I actually have yoga class today and I need to get going. Yeah, I'm busy with yoga.

I'm busy with Pat. We make sure that we spend time together. With him working every day and me working at least three nights a week it can become really easy to come home, say hi, have dinner and go to sleep. We try to make time to pay attention to each other every day. Now, am I the one doing most of the trying? Oh yeah but I don't mind. He's a guy. I get that. I realize that I do most of the "work" in our relationship but we are still very happy and in love even after almost 40 years together. Did I say 40 years? OMG!! Yeah, I'm busy with Pat.

Rigby keeps me busy too. I'm either pulling things out of his mouth, drying off the drool, combing him, feeding him, taking him out, chasing him around or trying to keep him quiet which is a full time job. He's worth the effort though. He is, after all, my son. :)

Now comes the I'm lazy part. On my off days (and if Kerry isn't home) I spend an amazing amount of time sitting in front of my new big screen TV. The Olympics and the US Open tennis match have kept me glued to my TV. Now the college football season has gotten under way. Go Gators! Go Tim Tebow! I gotta tell you, HD is a wonderful thing especially for sports and for Paul too.

I find it really easy to be lazy. I'm not one of those people who have to be doing something. I love being lazy and doing nothing.

So yeah, busy and lazy. That's me. I gotta go. It's time to get ready for yoga. It keeps me busy.

When you're 96 I'll still be your mother.

I am upset. I am really upset. I know it's stupid but there is nothing I can do about it. She's almost 22 for god's sake. Let go already! I can't. I just can't.

I remember my mom saying "when you're 96 I'll still be your mother". She used to say it to me all the time. I can hear her in my mind. I find myself thinking about that statement constantly now. 'When you're 96 I'll still be your mother". Now I know what she was talking about. I never really fully understood what she meant when she said that until right now, this minute.

My mom was much better at letting go than I am. By the time I was 21 (Kerry's age now) she couldn't wait to get rid of me. LOL While this statement is only partially true there was an element of that in our relationship at that time. I am feeling none of that now that I'm the mom instead of the kid. Our extremely close relationship is one of the highlights of my life and I really wish Kerry didn't have to go back to college. I will miss her so much.

Traveling together

I know that I will feel better about this in a few weeks. It always takes me about that long to settle into my life (or lack thereof) when Kerry leaves. I expect this time to be especially hard due to the fact that she was home for so long. Four months is a long time and I've gotten used to having her around. I also know that I will calm down once the phone rings which usually doesn't take long. She usually calls me 3 times a day and I am more than OK with that. It makes me happy. It allows me to sleep at night.

Happiness is.....

And now, there is this stupid tropical storm ruining my life. Tropical Storm Fay has been hanging over the state for days and days. Kerry has put off going back because of the inclement weather. School starts on Monday and she has to get up there but this damn storm won't go away and I'm freaking out over it. It's a 5 hour drive in rain and wind. Yeah, I'm real comfortable with that she said sarcastically.

OK, I really do need to get a grip on myself. Maybe I'll practice yoga once Kerry leaves. I need to get grounded. I have to work today and that will help to get my mind off all this for a while too. I'll be OK once I hear that she has made it safely. After all, when she's 96 I'll still be her mother.

Kerry proving that she is not 96 yet!

EXTRA! EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT! 9:24am, Coral Springs, Fl-Kerry has decided to stay here today and leave tomorrow. Mom is very much relieved. !!!

Blame It On The Big Screen

A few weeks back we got our stimulus check in the mail. You know, the check that we are supposed to use to stimulate the economy and not use to pay bills with?

Well, I decided to be a good citizen of the United States and do just that. I finally bought the big screen HDTV that Pat and I have been talking about buying for over a year. We talked and talked but just couldn't seem to go out there and buy it.

I finally remembered that if a large purchase is to be made around here it's up to me to act upon it. Pat does not shop well unless it's for things that are small or golf related. In waiting for support from Pat (and forgetting that it's really up to me) I'd put money away for it and then spent the money on other things. I'd checked the newspapers for months and months waiting for just the right deal to be printed on the pages. It never seemed to present itself. I researched, researched and then researched some more. I just couldn't seem to pull the trigger.

One day a few weeks ago I was surfing the net and ended up on Amazon.com. I clicked on the electronics section and there it was. The 40 inch Samsung that I had been looking for and at a really good price. The thing that really intrigued me was the free delivery. Best Buy, Circuit City and all the other places I was looking were going to charge me $100 to deliver the TV to my home. Amazon was free!!

This is what I've been watching

I must say I was a little apprehensive ordering such a big ticket item online but Kerry really pushed me to do it. She was completely comfortable with Amazon and after reading all of the reviews about the wonderful experiences that other people had buying this HDTV I decided to give it a try. I'm really glad I did.

HD Paul on my Big Screen

First of all, Amazon has a price guarantee that I love. If they lower the price within 30 days of you ordering the product they will honor the lower price. All you have to do is email them. I managed to save $110 in a week just going the website and checking the price every day. I was thrilled with that.

Richard in HD!!!

The delivery service was on time and really professional. They showed up when they were supposed to, they set it up for me in my bedroom (right at the end of my bed so that I can get radiation burns because it is so close) and were out of the house before I was able to tip them. I was very happy with the "white glove service" that Amazon supplied and the TV is fantastic.

Hi Laura!!

If you are wondering where I have been lately, I've been sitting in front of my new HDTV like a zombie, watching, watching, watching. Being a TV addict to begin with, this new TV just feeds the monster (if you get my drift). 40" Paul!! What more could I ask for?

The hottest man on the planet! Shaving, no less. YUM!! (Sorry Pat & Richard)

Well, what did you expect? LOL

The True Test

I'm still doing really well even though the scale had gone back up to 146. I'm still feeling that click that I talked about before but the true test is coming. Kerry is going to Gainesville tonight and won't be back until Sunday night. This is the moment of truth.

I am well aware that I am vulnerable to binges when I am alone. I absolutely must have an alternative plan to saying home and eating this weekend. I know that tomorrow I can go see my Brother Jon. It was his birthday the other day so I should probably go to see him to give him a birthday hug.

Me and my Bro

I am also sure that I will be going out to dinner on Saturday night and healthy choices can be made when we hit our usual Saturday night haunt. It's a place called Tijuana Flats. They offer a black bean burrito that I can get "power light" which means they switch out the sour cream and cheese with low fat versions. This item comes in at 288 calories which is great in my mind. It's the chips that are a problem. I will try to take it easy there. Maybe I'll count them out and only eat 10. Yeah...right. :)

Sunday, I don't know yet but I do know that I must make some plans that don't include food. Maybe shopping? Nah...no fun without Kerry. The casino? Oh, I'd love to. Nah....no money. I need a hobby. LOL

current weight-146

Hey, Hey, I'm On My Way

I'm on my way. Yes I am. I got on the scale today and I saw 145.5! Yeah!! I really wanted to see 145 again and although there is a .5 attached to it I'm still there. I feel as if I am on the right track again. You know, there seems to be something that clicks inside of you when you are on track and I'm feeling that click. If I can stay the course I should be in the 130's in a few weeks. I would really love that. As I've often said 139.5 would be fine. For me, being in the 130's means I'm at my goal weight. It also means that my life is good. It seems that I can judge how my life is going by how much I weigh. Hummm.....

I know that ramping up my exercise is partially responsible for the downward moving scale. I have been going to the track and also doing a lot of yoga which although Richard doesn't consider it toning I sure do. I'm happy to say that I have continued my yoga practice even though Juliana has gone away for the whole summer. This is the first year that I have done this. I have been going to The Yoga Source which is a studio that offers all different kinds of yoga. I found Joy who teaches a wonderful Hatha Yoga class and I have really been enjoying her style of teaching.

Me in wheel pose

I have been posting on the clubhouse boards a lot more lately. I have been posting on the exercise boards and on Laura's thread every day. I always do well when I am consistently posting on Richard's website. It's good to keep in touch with others that are going through the same thing as me and the other Fabs in particular. I've been weighing in and posting it on Laura's thread. I've noticed that this keeps me on track. Bethy started her own thread there too. I hope it helps her. I'm not going to start my own thread. Someone needs to be there to answer everyone. :)

Hugging Richard

My eating has been really good too. I have been eating 3 meals and one or two snacks a day. Kerry being home has been a double edged sword. Having her around stops me from grazing and that has helped but Kerry likes ice cream at night and she loves to eat out and that is not good. I guess I just need to make a commitment to continue on the healthy lifestyle path and as my mentor Richard Simmons (and Nike) says just do it.

The Circle of Friendship

I have been doin' well the last few days. I am taking time for me. I have been going to the track early in the morning and powerwalking 3-4 miles like I used to do. It feels really good to get back to my old exercising ways. I need to keep it up.

Today should be kinda mellow. Kerry will be going to the library to study and Pat will be going to play golf so I am going to take advantage of being alone in the house. With Kerry home there isn't much alone time in the house. Don't get me wrong. I am not complaining. It is just a fact.

When I am alone today I will light my "circle of friendship" candles which I got at Richard's retreat last year. All of the attendees were given three votive candle holders that we had to label with our three favorite blessings. I picked my inner peace, family and friends and my dog Rigby and wrote them on the labels. All three of these things are extremely important to the general happiness of my life.

Richard and The Fab Four at last year's retreat

We all put our candles in the middle of the wood floor at Slimmons and lit them. There were alot of people at the retreat so there were alot of candles. We all sat down with Richard on the floor and talked about our blessings. Richard was wonderful that day. So loving and so caring. You could feel the joy of that moment. The light that radiated from the circle that was made with the candles was beautiful. It really was a special moment.

Sitting on the wood floor at Slimmons

When we (The Fab Four) got back to Laura's condo we decided to write the other Fab names on each of the candles and then light them again before dinner. It was another special moment for us. It meant a lot to me.

The Circle of Friendship

I light these candles when I meditate or practice yoga and try to relive the feelings that I have when I am with my fellow Fabbers. I must get back to LA this year. I need my Fab Four fix. I need to eat Laura's scrambled eggs and go the the Ramon place. I need to sit around the table and talk about anything and everything with Bethy, Vennie and Laura. I need our shopping trips and excursions. I need to feel that "I can do anything" feeling that I have when we are together. I need to feel our circle of friendship in person, up close and personal.

Feeling Fab at Slimmons

Laura, Bethy, Vennie, I miss and love you all!!!!