My Happiness Journal

Keeping a happiness journal is a wonderful way to catalog the happiness unfolding all around us so that joy has myriad opportunities to manifest itself in our lives. Writing about the emotions we experience while contemplating joy may give us insight into the factors compelling us to resist it. Namaste♥

This was Juliana's Facebook status a while back and I'm thinking that it's a great idea. When life throws us a curve ball it's good to be able to look back on things that make us happy. I am lucky. I have many.

Kerry got into PhD program at Notre Dame-Now this one is interesting. Just the word Kerry makes me happy. All I have to do is think of her and a smile comes on my face. So many things make me smile about her. Memories of her playing soccer, as a baby in Fuddruckers, "Daaaie, I have to talk to you", clarinet performances, sitting at the table laughing with her and Pat, her high school graduation, spending Thanksgiving with her up at UF and going to Tim Tebow's last home game, taking her to see Paul with the second time a highlight of my life, the Dalia Lama, Coldplay, Hansen (twice)....just so many things make me joyous and happy. I could not have asked for a better experience as a mom. Kerry is the best kid EVER. Now she is going off to the University of Notre Dame. I am so proud of her I could just bust however I'm very nervous about her being so far away. I know she will become a fantastic biological scientist and save the world but I will worry day and night. I can't help it. It's just me but this is about joy and Kerry makes me feel that.

Pat-Another word that brings a smile to my face and is filled with memories. Over 40 years of memories. We were just kids when we got together. I was 17. I am now 58. That's a long time and years of great memories. Things like "no picks", "Flizbata", naked golf, the three of us lying in bed making 3 stooges noises, our trips to Vegas, hump day....just so many things that they are too numerous to write down. He has been a fantastic husband and partner to me. He supports me in everything that I do or say. I can count on him NO MATTER WHAT!! We were so different but we are so together. I guess it just shows you that you can be together for many, many years and still be happy. Pat makes me happy.

Pets-1) Mac. Oh my Mac. I loved him so much and I still do and even though he is gone now I still feel happy when I think of him. I would be sitting on the bed and he would jump up, walk on me, hold me down and lick my face until I screamed. He kept me company after hurricane Wilma hit us and Pat had to leave and go to work, he always made me feel safe because I knew he would rip up anyone who messed with me. He was the love of my doggie life and I suppose I will always chase him ie look for him in other pets. He loved me. He was MY dog.

2) Rigby- My Mac replacement. OK, maybe not so much as he is his own dog with his own personality. He loves me too. I call him my "Pea" which is short for Sweetpea because he is such a sweet dog. He is different from Mac but looks almost the same. He reminds me of Kerry sometimes too. The way he always has to bring around a toy is just like Kerry was when she was a kid. I love him madly but he is PAT'S dog. He loves me but he loves his dad. He's all about his dad. I'm lucky if I can get one little swipe of a tongue when Mac would given me a bath but I love my Pea too. His morning banana dance, his cocked head, the way he watches tv and has his favorite commercials. Very cool pet.

3) Jude-He is a great cat and he is totally in love with me. He comes up and lays on my lap while I am on the computer and messes with the mouse so I can't really write much. He's always under the bed covers when he is cold and we call him the Edward G Robinson of cats because of his meow.He hates it when Kerry comes and brings Elly. He spits and growls and then has it out with the paper towels in the middle of the night. It's funny really. He is orange and looks like Simba. He's a cool guy and I love him.



Then there are my friends old and new. Michele, Ruth, Laura, Beth, Wendi, Sandy just to name a few. I am very lucky to have found these ladies who are from all over the country. They are all great friends and I love them all. I have had great times with them all. I am lucky to have them.

My yoga practice makes me happy and how lucky am I to have found Juliana, my spiritual mentor? She has had the most profound effect on my life making me a more grounded, mindful and nonjudgemental person. Now I am taking yoga teacher training from her and because of her. I owe her so much but she would say that I owe her nothing.

Paul. I have loved Paul McCartney since I was 12 years old. I saw him on February 9, 1964, fell in total love and never came back. He was 21 then. Now he is 67 and I am 58 and I am still totally in love. His music has been the score of my life from A Hard Day's Night all the way to Dance Tonight with over 30 albums of music inbetween. He has been the source of so much love and joy in my life that I couldn't thank him enough even if I could speak with him. I finally was able to see him upclose and personal a couple of weeks ago and I felt exactly the same way that I felt when I first saw him in person at Shea Stadium in 1966. Yep, I'll always love Paul.








So there are some of the things that I put in my happiness journal. As I read over this list I realize that the name of this blog is very true. Lucky Me!!!!

Seeing Paul..My Dream Comes True..Part 2

After seeing Paul up close and personal Kerry and I had to run back to the Walmart to get the car. I was worried that it had been towed and I was really thrilled to see it in the parking lot when we got there. We went back into Walmart to get something to drink and I told everyone I saw that I had seen Paul. I told the people on line with us, I told the cashier, I told the air. All I could say was "I just saw Paul". It was hard to come down from the rush of the Paul encounter.

We grabbed the car and drove over to the stadium to listen to the sound check. It was so cool to be able to hear Paul playing with his band from outside the venue. I would have rather been inside but I didn't have the $2500 that I would have had to pay to get in. I was totally happy to sit in my car and hear him play. It was like getting two concerts for the price of one.

Now, a Paul McCartney concert is not complete without a trip to the tour merchandise stand. I'm fairly well known for spending up to $500 on shirts and other tour stuff but I had decided that I was only going to get one shirt for me and one shirt for Kerry. They had this really cute black tank with a flower and Paul's autograph that I had to have for yoga. It was the perfect item that joins my two obsessions. Paul and yoga. Then I saw this really cool yellow shirt that I also had to have along with the matching tote bag. Kerry picked out a really nice blue t-shirt. Although it was more than I wanted to spend it wasn't as bad as it has been at other shows. I got off under $150 which for me at a Paul concert is a pittance. We changed into our new Paul shirts in the car and waited to get in to check out the seats.

The gates into the stadium opened at 6:00 and after getting our field level wristbands we found our seats. Now I am a total Paul seat snot and if I'm not in the first 10 rows I'm unhappy. We were in the 27th row so I was not thrilled with my seats but they weren't really all that bad. We sat around and waited for the show to start.

At 8:30 the band came on stage and there he was. My Paul looking as fantastic as ever. He opened with Venus and Mars/Rockshow which was a fantastic way to start the show. Even though I have seen him 10 times it was the first time I heard him do that song. The set list went as follows:
1.Venus And Mars / Rock Show
2.Jet
3.All My Loving
4.Letting Go
5.Got To Get You Into My Life
6.Highway
7.Let Me Roll It / Foxey Lady
8.The Long And Winding Road
9.Nineteen Hundred And Eighty Five
10.(I Want To) Come Home
11.My Love
12.I’m Looking Through You
13.Two Of Us
14.Blackbird
15.Here Today
16.Dance Tonight
17.Mrs Vandebilt
18.Eleanor Rigby
19.Something
20.Sing The Changes
21.Band On The Run
22.Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da
23.Back In The USSR
24.I’ve Got A Feeling
25.Paperback Writer
26.A Day In The Life / Give Peace A Chance
27.Let It Be
28.Live And Let Die
29.Hey Jude

Encore:
30.Day Tripper
31.Lady Madonna
32.Get Back

Second Encore:
33.Yesterday
34.Helter Skelter
35.Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band / The End

This was a dream set list for me because there were quite a few songs that I hadn't heard him perform like Highway, Foxy Lady, Nineteen Hundred Eighty Five, Two Of Us, Dance Tonight, Mrs Vanderbuilt, Sing The Changes, Oh-Bla-Di Oh-Bla-Da (this was a total fan favorite), I Got A Feeling and A Day In The Life. Most of the other songs I've heard every time I've seen Paul. He feels that songs like The Long and Winding Road, Yesterday and Hey Jude are must perform songs and he always plays them. When I heard the beginning of Live and Let Die I turned to Kerry and said "Oh no, not again". OMG!! I was so wrong. It was beyond words. There were huge explosions and because it was an outside stadium they had the most fabulous fireworks I've ever seen at a show. It was amazing. I've added a youtube video of it below.

Kerry and I stood up for the entire concert which was 3 hours long and after standing up all day looking for Paul when the concert was over we were whipped. Totally and completely whipped but the best kind of whipped there is. Paul concert whipped. At the end of the show Paul stood at the mike and said his usual "see you next time". I hope there is a next time. Thanks Paul. I love you forever!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Here are a few of the youtube videos of the show for your enjoyment.

Seeing Paul...My Dream Comes True....Part One

I want to get all this down before I forget it. Yesterday was a most amazing day spent with the Kid and it never would have happened without her. That's for sure.

We left to get to Sun Life Stadium early. Really early. We were on the road by 2:00 knowing that the concert was scheduled to start at 8:00 with parking opening at 5:00. We got there at about 2:30 and were promptly sent away by the stadium staff. They told us to go and find something else to do for 2 1/2 hours. NOT!!!!

We had noticed that there was a Wal-Mart across the street from the stadium so we decided to go over there and dump off the car. There were threatening signs all over the parking lot saying that any stadium cars would be towed. Kerry said that we should park in the busy part of the lot, go into the store, buy something and them hike over to the stadium. I thought it was a great plan so that's what we did.

We had to slip into the stadium though a break in the fence and just started scoping out the place. There were some people there milling around all wearing VIP necklaces. I wanted to see Paul up close, arriving to the show. It's a dream of mine that has alluded me up to this point. Kerry decided that we were going to make that dream come true so that I wouldn't be "that guy from The Alchemist" always dreaming and never doing.

We came upon some people waiting at an area that looked really good for a Paul entry point. We hung around for a while talking to the people one of who was also named Claudia. She was from Brazil and seemed kind of young to be hanging around waiting for Paul but she seemed to be determined to see him and we thought that maybe she knew what she was doing.

As we were waiting we saw a cop who was just standing around. Kerry told me that she was not afraid to go up to people and talk to them so I sent her over to talk to the cop. I heard her say that it was her mom's dream to see Paul and was this the place that he was going to arrive. I walked up and pleaded with him for any info that he would give us. He smiled and told us that he was sure that Paul was NOT going to arrive at this spot. He said he thought that the spot to check out was between gates A and B. We thanked him and I told him that I hoped something really great would happen to him for helping us. Kerry told the other people what the cop had said but they said not to believe him and they were going to say where they were. Kerry and I looked at each other and decided that we liked the cop and we believed him so we took off to scope out gates A and B.

When we got there we met up with Kelley from the Macca-L list and some other people. One of the women named Joanne said that her friends had seen Paul enter at that very spot the day before so we were feeling pretty good about where we were. We noticed cop cars parked around and lots of event staff hanging around as well. These were signs that we were in the right spot.

Then this really cute young guy came out with a video camera. I sent Kerry on over to see if she could pump him for info. She did an excellent job. She said that he was Paul's video guy and he was 100 percent sure that Paul was coming in this way. I was ready. I actually offered Kerry to the guy for the weekend for an invite to the after party but I was only kidding ( I think). He video taped all of the fans that were standing there with special interest in me and Kerry. I wouldn't be surprised if I see her in the video that will be released.

All of a sudden we saw flashing lights and black SUVs coming our way. The cop car that had been parked blocking the area moved out of the way and the cars started down the street right in front of us. The window on our side rolled down and there was Paul hanging out of the window, waving and pointing. He looked right at me and pointed at me. They slowed the car down to a slow roll so I got to see him for about a full minute. He looked great wearing a blue stripped shirt. I finally had my wish come true. I got to see Paul up close and personal in a non concert setting and Kerry got a great picture of the whole thing. When it was over I grabbed her, hugged her and started crying. She said to me "you see Mom? You're not that guy anymore". That guy was the guy from the book The Alchemist who owned the crystal shop, had big dreams that never came true because he never did anything to make them come true. She was right. I was no longer that guy and it was all because of her.

We were actually closer that this picture indicates. My dream come true!

Part 2 next time.......

Paul's Coming-AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

Here we go again. Paul's coming to Miami on April 3 and I have to be there. There is no way that I am not going to be there. Yeah, ticket prices are loony but over the last few tours I got used to paying gobs of money for decent seats. Now there's the operative word. Decent. Let the mania begin.

Paul playing Jet

Tickets go on sale on Sunday and because I'm a member of the fan club I get in on the presale. In the old days the fan club seats were fantastic. Sixth row center would be the usual and 20th row would have been considered crappy seats. Now I'm fighting with everyone on the internet. It's hard to get good seats these days.

I love the blue backdrop

Now I absolutely must keep my head about me. It's easy to accept lousy seats just to be there and pay hugs prices for them. If I had $1500 I would go for the VIP tickets where you get to get into the sound check but alas I don't have that much. Money is tight these days so that option is out. I must remember that when I log onto Ticketmaster that the first seats that are offered are not necessarily the best ones. I want floor seats and if I have to opt to wait until something goes on Ebay then that's what I must do. The last time I saw Paul, which was in Tampa, I got my seats on Ebay and they were GREAT. I had to pay $100 more than face value but the location was totally worth it. I must remember that when I am trying to score tickets on Sunday. Yeah, right. LOL

Paul from behind 1993

Now here is my other problem. When I found out Paul was coming I was so excited that I told Michele. She is my usual partner for these concerts with me paying for both seats but when I told Kerry about it she said that she would come home for the concert and wanted to go. I remember the last time I took Kerry to see Paul. We had floor seats and she had such a great time. It did my Beatlefan Mom's heart good to see her singing along to every word of every song. She even knew the words to C-Moon which a lot of fans don't know. I was proud. Of course, I'm going to take Kerry but I need a way to tell Michele. I guess I'll just tell her Kerry wants to go. She knows Kerry trumps her.

Paul on a cherry picker going over the audience

Paul and Robbie in 1993

The concert is going to be at Dolphin Stadium. I really wish Paul would go back to the smaller venues like Bank Atlantic Center where I saw him in 2002. I hate these huge stadium concerts. It's really hard to get close and you end up watching on the video screens which is like watching it on TV. However, it's better to do that then not be there. I am going to be there. It will be the 10th time I've seen Paul and may very well be the last. He is, after all, 67 years old and how much longer is he going to be touring. Knowing Paul, his roadies will have to wheel him out in a wheelchair when he's 90. I can only hope. I'm coming, Paulie.

The Best Yoga Workshop EVER

I got up early this Sunday morning to go to Juliana's forward/backbend 3 hour workshop and I am so glad I did. There were 10 of us there so Juliana paired us up into 5 groups. My partner was Wendi who I've known for years. She is a fellow Coach freak as well as a yoga freak so we have lots in common. She turned out to be the perfect partner for me today.

Juliana had us sit back to back so that we could feel each other's warmth, breath and energy. Wendi did a forward bend as I did a backbend on her. Then I did a forward bend and she backbended on me. We spotted each other while doing alternating forward and backbends, triangle, tree and full forward and backbends. It was two and a half hours of Juliana teaching us how to spot our partners. In other words, she was teaching us to be yoga teachers. It was really wonderful. It made me really look forward to what is coming in March.

Full forward bend

We also did lots of work alone on our own mats. Hip openers, inversions, spinal twists and lots of down dogs. I really felt like it was the beginning of my teacher training. I think it was a dry run for Juliana's teacher training skills. She was fantastic. I can't wait to start up.

Downward facing dog

I worry about where I will teach once this is all over but the universe has a way of putting things in your path to make good things happen. I'm sure I will find a class to teach somewhere. I really feel that I can help beginners to start their practice and learn to love yoga as much as I do. Namaste!

It's been too long.

I was just fixing up Juliana's blog to reflect the teacher training that will be starting on March 19 and it made me realize that I have been neglectful of my own blog. It's amazing how quickly time passes. Here it is February 19 already. It really seems as if time is going faster as I get older. I remember my mom telling me "you turn around once and you are 65" and I see it's true. Well, almost true. I'm 58 not 65. :)

OK, let's see, what's been going on with me? Kerry came home to spend my birthday with me last month and it was the best present that I ever could have gotten. I am so in love with that child and I feel lucky every day to have her in my life. She has grown up into a wonderful, caring young woman and I couldn't be prouder of her.

Today she starts the interview process with the Masters program acceptance committee at UF. Her advisor, Charlie, has already made it very clear that she will be accepted into the program but she has to go through the process anyway. I think it will be pretty stress free for her. I would be thrilled if she decides to stay at UF.

Next week she goes to Notre Dame for her PhD interviews there. They want to meet her so badly that they paid for her airfare, hotel and food for the interview weekend. I know she is very excited about the prospect of starting her PhD at such a well known school but it's in South Bend, Indiana which is far away and VERY cold. I'm sure she will go there and knock their socks off. I'm still hoping for UF. I'm Mom. What can I say?

I start my yoga teacher training on March 19th and I am extremely excited about it. I finally will be learning to teach yoga from my guru, Juliana. Anyone who knows me knows about Juliana. She has changed me in a profound way. It's going to be about 4 months of learning about yoga philosphy, anatomy, asanas and teaching classes. I'm also thrilled that my very good yoga bud Ruth is doing it with me. I love Ruthie and it'll be nice to have her with me to study and practice with. I've started reading the required books and I am ready to go. I feel as if a new path is opening in my life and it's a very good thing.

I am also very excited about some upcoming things that I'm not ready to put in writing yet but I know about them and so do the people involved. I can't wait until March 24th.

Last month I decided to cut my hair really short. Now I know that this may not be a big deal to a lot of people but it was HUGE for me. I was upset about it until Pat came home the day I cut it and told me that he loved it. After that people started telling me that I looked 15 years younger and asked me if I lost weight. That was when I realized that I finally had the right haircut. LOL I will post some picture once Kerry brings my camera back from Gainesville.

As you can probably get from this blog entry, I am very happy and excited about life. I've got the most wonderful family and friends in the whole world. I am brimming over with joy. How lucky can one girl from Long Beach be? :)

2010-A new decade

Ok, well, here we are. It's January 1, 2010. It's hard to believe. I remember when I was a kid I would think to myself that I would be 48 in the year 2000. It seemed so old and so far away. Fast forward to now. It's 2010 and I'm 57 turning 58 in a few days. My mom was right. "You turn around once and you're 65". It seems that the older I get the faster it's going.

I'm excited about the upcoming year. I'm going to start my yoga teacher training in a few weeks and I should be finished and ready to teach at the end of April. I'm very excited about starting my new life as a registered yoga teacher. I truly feel that a consistent yoga practice helps ground you and allows for happiness and joy. I am always very grateful for what I have after a good yoga practice. That's why I'm going to Joy's class in a little while. In my opinion, there is no better way to start the new year.

Kerry's life is in flux but she will figure it all out this year. She is sending out application to University of Chicago, Colorado State, University of Michigan, Notre Dame and some other schools as well. She is hoping to get accepted to a PHD program somewhere. I'm thinking that someone somewhere will want her. She has so much to offer. She is very passionate about her research and her field. She's got good GRE scores, great letters of recommendation and lots of experience. I think she will be a huge success. I'm not real happy about her moving so far away but she promises that it won't be any different that it is now. She says that she will be more likely to come home because she won't have to make the 5 hour drive anymore. Let's hope so.

I have made 4 resolutions as Richard has asked me to do. They are as follows:
1) Finish yoga teacher training, obtain my certification and teach a class.
2) Stay positive
3) Do some kind of exercise 5-6 times per week
4) Continue to be happy

I think these are doable goals which is important when setting goals. They must be able to be acheived. I have decided to add one more resolution and that is to be more consistant with this blog. On looking back on this blog I realize that it's like a diary. I like having all this info to look back on.

I am looking forward to Tim Tebow's last game as a Gator tonight in the Sugar Bowl. Kerry is coming home from Ft Meyers to watch the game with me. What a fantastic way to start the new year. Yoga class and Gator football with Kerry. Go Gators!!

So that's it for now. I am looking forward to a wonderful 2010. Off to yoga class I go. Namaste!

Thanks For The Memories Timmy!!!

Hi Everybody,

I'm in Gainesville waiting for the pre-game hoopla to start. Kerry is on campus finishing up some lab work and when she is finished she will come home, pick us up and off to the game we will go. I can't wait. The atmosphere here is loony. It's like being at a Paul McCartney concert only more so. There should be 100,000 people at the game and we will be sitting with the students in the 10th row of the end zone. We have bought our Gators tatoos to put on our faces before the game so we should fit right in with the drunken students. LOL

Yesterday Kerry and I got up at 5:30am, put on 4 layers of clothes and waited in 36 degree weather for 3 hours to get the correct tickets for the game. They only had 500 upgraded tickets available and I think if we had been 15 minutes later we would not have made it. Kerry has a student ID but Pat and I had to have a certain sticker on our tickets or we couldn't go. It's just another way to make money but totally worth it. We froze our butts off but it was another wonderful time that we will never forget.

Pat has some kind of foot injury. His ankle is all swollen up and black and blue but he doesn't remember thing that might have happened to cause this. It started at home a day or two before we left and has just gotten worse and worse. I hope he makes it through todays festivities alright.

Rigby did really well in the car but all the activity of Kerry's apartment complex is driving him crazy. Every time a car door slams or he hears people talking he starts barking. He is a Lhasa Apso and that's what his breed is all about. He's an alarm dog which normally is a good thing but not so good at 3:00 in the morning. LOL.

Well, that's it from crazy Gainesville. We will all be at the game early to say goodbye to Tim Tebow. It is his last game at The Swamp and I'm sure there will be lots of crying and upset but excitement too. We will be going home tomorrow and back to work for me on Monday.

Goodbye Timmy. Thanks for 4 fantastic years of exciting, winning football. We will miss you. GO GATORS!!!!!

I'm Back!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sometimes I just lose interest in things that I've been doing like this blog. I don't know why this happens but it does. Maybe it's that I'm busy doing other things or I just get lazy but whatever the reason is I stopped blogging. I was very surprised when I logged on and saw that my last entry was on August 5. Oh my, that's almost 7 weeks ago. That's not good. One of the reasons is Facebook. I spend a load of time on there, checking the status of my friends and family, playing the slots and playing Treasuremania. I am going to make time to blog more often especially now that I am once again trying to lose the 18 pounds that have been driving me nuts.

Recently, I pulled out my old Deal A Meal. It's kind of a symbol for me. It's a symbol of what worked for me when I lost my weight the first time. It's really a sad sight being held together by tape and falling apart but I know it worked before and I know it will work again. Yes, I have a foodmover but there is just something about the DAM that works better for me. Maybe it's because it has Richard's autograph on it. I don't know but whatever it is I've taken it out of the drawer that it was sleeping in and started pulling my cards again. Yay!!

I'm also exercising again. I'm totally out of shape and unable to do some of the things that I used to do especially now that I'm having physical issues. My heel still gives me some problems and as much as I hate to admit this, my back has been talking to me too. I had the MRI on my back and was told that I have a multitude of back issues and I guess I'm paying more attention to it now so I have been feeling some mild back pain. I am not going to let this stop me. I've started going to the track again but only twice a week for the time being. I've also been doing Richard's new video Boogie Down The Pounds. It's got great disco music and I enjoy doing it. Today is yoga day for me. Yes, I'm still doing my yoga classes. I still love it more than anything. I've started toning again too. I've been doing Tone and Sweat, Blast and Tone and even some work with free weights.

Now for motivation. I was talking to Laura the other day and she said that it helped her to have Richard there to talk to for even 2 or 3 minutes a week. I said that I wished I had Richard for a few minutes a week to talk to when *BOING* it hit me. I DO have Richard here for a few minutes a week. Actually I have him here with me every day in the form or his old Day By Day tapes. I started watching them again and they have really helped me alot. They help me focus on my weight loss efforts and also remind me that I have Richard Simmons as a good friend and cheerleader. Whatever would I have done without him?


So that's where I am now. I've lost 2 pounds so far and that leaves me 16 to go. I'm glad that I realized all this before I had 50 pounds to lose. Blogging helps so I'm back. Hopefully I will be reporting more weight loss soon.

It's Going To Be A Stressful Day

Stress doesn't even begin to describe what I am going through right now. First off, yesterday was Rigby's first check up with a new vet. He was incredibly well behaved. So much so that even the vet couldn't believe what a good dog he was. When she came in and saw that he was a lhasa apso she said "Oh, Lhasa's are usually not the nicest dogs when it comes to strangers". I laughed and told her a little about my Mac who drove fear into the heart of all vets and strangers but I also told her that Rigby was the exception to the rule and he was. The problem came when she was examining his back leg and she said "you know about his right knee, right?" It turns out that he has a luxating patella which means that his knee joint slips in and out. She said that he may have to have surgery down the line but will definitely have arthritis issues when he gets older. She put him on doggie glucosamine which he will be on for the rest of his life. This upset me to no end. The vet also said that this condition is genetic. So much for going to a good breeder. On the bright side he is the nicest Lhasa Apso in the whole world so that's good. Yeah, I really love him. :)

Rigby and his loving mom

Now, on to Kerry. Oy Vey. Death and trouble(as me and my brother used to say when something went wrong). She took possession of a new apartment yesterday in Gainesville which is riddled with water damage, mold and mildew. Kerry has asthma and cannot live in a place like that. The place was totally gross including a large green painting of a penis on the back of her bedroom wall. I am now going at it with the apartment complex about either switching units or getting out of the lease completely. Of course, before they would give her keys she had to give them a cashier's check for $400 and I may be out that money but I just can't have her living in a place where the walls and floors are wet and mold is growing. I'm trying to remember that as my mom would have told me you get more flies with honey than with vinegar and not flip out on these people. Dealing with apartment rentals is what my last job was all about and I'm trying to use some of that experience in this situation but the complex sounds like they are going to try and take a hard line. Like I said before, death and trouble.

Kerry and her loving mom

I was happy to see the scale go down this morning from 158 back to 155. I had a better eating day yesterday after my private yoga session with Juliana. I'm glad she is back from her vacation. She has a very calming effect on me and I'm hoping that will help me get my eating back under control.

Well, that's it for me. I'm sure you will hear me screaming at the apartment complex manager from wherever you may live. Just ignore it and go on with your lives. :)

I'm A Very Proud Mom

Kerry called me today to tell me that she has an interview set up with a PHD guy in the infectious disease department at the University of Michigan. Yep I said Michigan. Her interview is going to take place in January. Yep I said January and she wants me to go with her. Yep I said me. So I guess I'm going to Ann Arbor Michigan in January. I'm freezing already.

Kerry was born here in South Florida and calls me to complain about the cold in Gainesville. Gainesville is in Florida. I can't imagine how she is going to exist in Michigan. I've already told her that I am not moving to Michigan. She says that she will buy me a summer house there. It's too cold there in the summer for me. I need 85, 90, 95 degrees in order to live. I mean when the temperatures hit 70 I pull out my long underwear. I won't be able to deal. I just won't be able to deal.

I am very proud of my girl. She had decided that she wants to be involved in the research of diseases, how they spread and what we should do about them. She is going after what she wanat with all the enthusiasm of a Beatle Fan running after Paul McCartney in the 60's. She is not letting anything stop her. Not the cold, not the money, not the work. She is going to get what she wants and that makes me very happy. All I've ever wanted for her is that she be happy in what she is doing and she makes enough money so that she doesn't have to take any crap from anyone. It looks like I will get my wish for her. I'm a happy mom.

Bathing Suit Shopping....Kill Me Now!!

Now that I have the new gym membership which includes a membership to three of our local pools I realized that I only had one bathing suit. I saw that Macy's was having a killer sale so I decided to go shopping and maybe add another one to my collection of one. NOT!!!! It was a horrible experience. So many different emotions surfaced during this shopping trip and none of them were good.

To begin with I have definitely gained weight. There is no denying it anymore. It's funny how even though the scale keeps going up you can really make yourself believe that it's not. I went into the store thinking that this was not going to be that bad. I was wrong. I've gained weight and there it was staring me in the face in the form of large flabby thighs, hanging skin and a big belly. Every suit I tried on looked terrible. Each one worse than the other. After about 10 of them I decided to screw getting a new suit. The people at the pool will just have to get used to the one that I have which I actually like. I guess I should have bought two when I found it.

After trying on the suits and feeling like crap I noticed the Auntie Anne's pretzel stand. I really wanted a cinnamon sugar pretzel. I mean I really wanted one but I walked by thinking to myself that eating a pretzel would not help in any way other than to make things worse.....but I really wanted one. Then I saw the cupcake stand. Anyone who knows me knows I love cake and cupcakes. They are a weakness of mine. I started walking towards it like a zombie. No thought, no mindfulness, no consequences. I mean after all, I was feeling like crap. I was fat again and one cupcake was not going to make or break the problem and it would make me feel good. As I got closer I reached in my pocket and grabbed my phone. I called my good friend Laura who always knows what to say to me whatever I may be going through. In thinking back on it I guess it was my subconcious that called Laura because all of sudden I found myself talking to her. I don't have any memory of pushing the buttons to call her. I don't even remember the thought process that I must have gone through before I called her. I just know that I did and as always she talked me down from the wall. I left the mall talking to her and not eating a cupcake.

I still feel terrible about the whole thing. I got on the scale this morning and there it was. 156. The scale keeps going up, up, up. I know why though. My eating has been terrible lately and my plantar fasciitis has stopped me from doing any hard exercise. I must say I am feeling really bad about myself. I am up in weight and out of shape. I look like crap in a bathing suit and I'm not doing anything much about it. I have no job and no prospects. Kerry is talking about going even further away than she is right now. I'm really feeling down. I find in writing this down that the fact that Kerry is talking about New Jersey, Michigan and Canada is really, really bothering me. It's the worst of all. I'm sorry, Peewee but it's the truth. I know that you have to go where it's best for your schooling and your career but......the tears are falling as I am writing. I can't help it.

I am going to drag myself into the living room and put on one of Richard's videos. Maybe that will make me feel better. It certainly won't hurt the gaining weight problem. It can only help but my heel pain limits me in what I can do. I don't want to go to the gym today. I just don't feel like it but I know that if I don't go and I don't do any exercise I'll be sorry later just like I was in the dressing room yesterday.

My New Gym Membership

I was on the phone with Kerry on Saturday talking about everything under the sun. We were on the phone for 3 hours. 3 hours!!!!! In this conversation I was complaining about not being able to exercise. The podiatrist suggested swimming but I don't have a pool and I was telling her this when she said "Mom, why don't you just join the pool like we did when I was a kid?" Well, a light went off and I said "now, that's a great idea".

I went over to our local aquatic center and asked about a membership. There were a few different memberships available and one included a membership to the fitness center at the aquatic center. It was inexpensive and there was no sign up fee like there is at a 24 Hour Fitness or Bally's. I joined up on the spot.

I got up early this morning and I went over for my first workout. The fitness center has treadmills, elipticals, recumbent bikes, stairclimbers and every kind of weight machine in the world. There were quite a few that I have never seen before and I've been in a lot of gyms in my life. They even have a steam room!! There is a free weight room and even a "Curves" room. I told the person giving me the tour that the "Curves" room is the one room I was going to say out of. Not only did I work at Curves for a year and a half but I tore my Plantar Fascia there. Nope, not going in there.

My podiatrist had told me that I was allowed 15 minutes on a treadmill so I did that. Then I went over to the recumbent bikes for another 15 minutes. It's been quite some time since I worked out that hard. It felt great. When I finished my cardio I went over to the weight machines. I worked my back, shoulders and triceps. I felt really great when I was done. I was hot and sweaty but happy that I had worked out so hard.

When I was done in the gym I changed into my swim suit and hit the pool. OMG!!! It was so great to be in the water again. It's been years since I've been swimming. It was such a freeing feeling. I swam about 20 laps before I pooped out. I am going to love this new gym and pool.

I have to say that I am definitely feeling my foot at the moment. I'm hoping that it goes away soon. Maybe I did too much. I don't know but even if I have to cut back a bit I can still go there and just lift weights and swim.

My food was better today. I guess it's all connected just like Richard says. I think I'm on the right track.

It's Officially Plantar Fasciitis!

It's official. I am suffering from a torn Plantar Fascia. In other words Plantar Fasciitis. My foot is feeling much better than it was when I arrived at the podiatrist's office a month ago. I was happy to hear the diagnosis. My doctor made me promise that I would continue icing, tensing, rolling, exercising, picking up marbles, picking up towels, working with elastic bands and stretching every day. It's like a full time job but I'm not going to complain because it's working. I even got the OK to start walking again. I'm to start out walking 15 minutes and work up to longer and longer walks. I'm going to put my orthotics in my shoes and take Rigby for a 15 minute walk as soon as I find out whether or not Tiger Woods makes the cut in the British Open.

On another note I am starting a new exercise class tomorrow. I am going to try Pilates. The Yoga Source gives a class on Saturday mornings and I've been looking for something new to kick start my program. I'm hoping this will be it. I hear it's a tough but rewarding class. I need some rewards.

My eating has been horrid. I'm afraid to get on the scale. I don't want to know what the bad news is. I know that Richard would tell me to just do it and face the music but I just can't do it. I want to try to get back on track and get in a little exercise before I face the bad news. I know it's going to be very, very bad. I don't really know why I'm eating so badly. Is it boredom? Maybe. Is it frustration? Maybe. Is it being out of work? Maybe? Is it all of the above? Maybe. I don't know but I do know that I've got to get a grip before I'm back at 225 pounds again.

The Stupidity Of The Medical System

The medical community in this country is screwed. That has been made apparent to me over the last week. When I went for my neurological tests the doctor who performed these tests told my primary physician that he felt that I might have spinal stenosis. This is the shrinking of the spinal column which causes pain which shoots down your butt into your legs. I found this to be totally out there because I have absolutely no pain in my back. As a matter of fact some of back bends that I do in yoga shock even my yoga teachers. Not only that but I often feel that my body craves these back bends. I need to do them. This doesn't sound like someone with spinal stenosis to me however I was ready to have the back MRI that Dr C told my primary care physican (PCP) that I should have. My PCP (Bob) agreed and wrote the prescription and seeing that I was having an MRI on my right foot for the supposed plantar fasciitis I figured we could save some time and money and have both done at the same time. Yeah, right!!!!!!

My insurance company declined the back MRI because Bob wrote the order. He is not affiliated with my insurance company but because he has been my doctor for 31 years I pay to go to him. The neurologist that did the tests is affiliated with my insurance company but wouldn't write the order for it because he didn't consider me his patient. He was just the test doctor and not MY doctor. So what does this all mean?

I have to go back to Dr C's office (neurologist) and wave hi to him, talk to him, pay a co-pay to see him and have him bill my insurance company for a visit that I don't need so that he can consider me his patient and write the prescription for the back MRI that I didn't go to him for in the first place. I went to him for my foot pain. Now he can't see me until July 21. Are we confused yet?

Now, the latest in this ridiculous story is that Dr C's office called and said that now they think it's not spinal stenosis and probably a pinched nerve. I don't think it's anything. I think they are crazy.

The MRI of my right foot and ankle is scheduled for Monday so I will have to have two separate procedures. Double the price. Double the hassle. Stupid.

WTF?

Ok, well, yesterday was not a fun day. I started with the vascular tests which consisted of a cute guy giving me an ultrasound all up and down my legs. As medical tests go it wasn't bad until he said "are you a smoker?" I replied that I had been but had quit years ago. Then I asked "why and how did you know?" He proceeded to tell me that he could see the damage that the smoking had done to my arteries and veins. Well, that's not what I wanted to hear especially after going through all I did to stop. Then he told me that I have plaque in my arteries. Again, not what you want or expect to hear especially after spending all those years walking, running and doing Richard Simmons videos. In the end he said that I had good circulation. Well, at least that's good news. Yeah...we'll see about that once the films are read and the report comes in. And that was the good part of the day.

Then came the neurological studies. OMG!! That was fun. I laid on a table and got electrical shocks up and down my legs. Some were small and others were big enough to have my legs jumping off the table. Not pleasant in any way. When Rosie (that was my tech) was finished with that the Doctor came in and started sticking little needles all up and down my legs. He got a very weird look on his face and said that I gave him confusing readings. OK, so I'm confusing. Then He made me roll on my side and he started sticking needles in my back and hips. OK, this was not what I had signed up for. He kept telling me to relax. Yeah, right. Easy for him to say. I'm the one who was getting stuck with needles all over my body.

Once all the needle sticking was over he started asking me if I had any back issues. Did I experience and pain, numbness or tingling? I told him no. I was there for my foot not my back. Well, he said that my foot was NOT Tarsal Tunnel Syndrome which is a good thing. No surgery....for that. He was more interested in my back which I must say feels fine. He ran and called my main squeeze doctor whose office is in the same building and then came in and said that he wanted me to have an MRI on my back. I'm supposed to have one on my foot because after all, that's why I went there. He said that I had an injury to my back which was "old" and by old he meant months not years old. I got dressed and went upstairs to Bob's (main squeeze) office for an explantion. When I got there Bob was on the phone with this doctor about me. Bob couldn't see me yesterday because he was booked solid however he me to wait to make the MRI appointment so that I can have both the foot and the back done at the same time. I have an appointment with Bob this afternoon to talk about all of this. I feel better talking to Bob about this stuff because he will explain it all to me and not pull any punches. He will tell me the truth.

I still don't know what is wrong with my foot and the pain continues. Now I have to worry about my back which felt fine until I was told it wasn't. As my friend Laura would say, OY VEY!!! What a mess. I guess I'll know more later on today. No exercise until I talk to Bob. I just hope my yoga is safe. Being in the medical loop sucks.

Living For My Bum Foot

So, I went to a new podiatrist the other day. Wow! What a difference from the useless Dr T that I have been going to for a few months. As soon as I walked in the door I knew I was going to see a better doctor. The offices were beautiful. Yes, it is in Weston which is a pain in the ass to get to but it's definitely doable and totally worth it.

The doctor seemed very knowledgeable and extremely cute which is a plus. He asked me some very interesting questions and gave me a foot exam. He played with my feet, asked me to walk for him and made me feel as if he was really on my side. It was a good feeling.

He sent me home with a TENS unit which I have to use 3 times a day for an hour. I have to ice my foot and then roll it on a tennis ball 3 times a day. I have to do exercises against the wall 3 times a day and do towel pickups 3 times a day. Oh yeah, it's good that I don't have job at the moment because who would have time to work?

I am waiting for the MRI place to call me to schedule the test. I have vascular studies and neurological tests scheduled for Monday and I'm hoping that the tests show that it's just Plantar Fasciitis and not Tarsal Tunnel Syndrome. Physical therapy starts Tuesday and I'll be doing it three times a week for a while.

No I am not giving up yoga. I just won't. I told Dr S that I was a yoga girl and he didn't say that I had to stop so I'm taking that as an okay to continue. It's the only exercise that I've been doing lately. I love it and won't give it up. No Vinyasa flow though. Just easy Hatha.

Well, hopefully all this will help and I'll be able to get my life back and stop living for my bum foot.

Happy Birthday Paulie! I'm Still Waiting.......

Today is June 18. You know what that means, doncha? It's my man's birthday. No not my husband Pat. My very first love. The man I've been in love with since February 9, 1964. You know, he's got those eyes, that hair, that accent, that bod, that voice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's Paul McCartney. Yep, it's his birthday today and yes, he is still 9 years, 7 months and 11 days older than me which would make him 67. 67?????????? Impossible! He's 21 and I'm 12 just as I was on the very first day I laid eyes on him. Oh so gorgeous. OMG!!

Here you go. A little sample of his life's work.....Yesterday




And a little later......Helter Skelter




and a little later.....Silly Love Songs




and a little later.....Hope of Deliverance



and finally.....Dance Tonight



Enjoy some music from the most talented man that ever lived. Not to mention the best looking. Sorry Pat and Richard. Hey Paul, call me already. I've been waiting for over 40 years.....

Rigby Is My Son

Rigby woke us up at 4:45 this morning scratching at the back door. I dragged myself out of bed and let him out to do his thing in the backyard. He went out and ate grass. I knew this was a bad sign. He laid down in the grass so I picked him up and brought him back inside so I could get some more sleep. Normally he would jump up on the bed and sleep with us but he didn't this morning.

Rigby and me

At 5:30am he started scratching at the door again so Pat got up with him this time. I got dressed so I could go outside and see what was going on. He was just laying in grass breathing heavy. I sat on the grass with him petting him and telling him that everything. He scared me really badly.

We went inside and I gave him some water with ice cubes in it and he seemed to like that. Then I hooked him up and took him out the front for a short walk. Usually he wants to stay outside but he didn't want to this morning. We walked for a short time but he turned around and took me home. I offered him a doggy treat and he took it. It was the first sign that he was going to be alright and believe me, I was happy to see that.

Rigby is such a good boy

After my yoga practice I fixed Rigby his breakfast which he snubbed. Very unusual. I also fixed my breakfast which he normally begs for and he wasn't interested. Hmmm...what to do? I remembered that I had some turkey breast in the fridge and he loves it so I offered him a small piece and he took it. He ended up eating the whole thing. I put some in his food and he ate that too.

He is still not feeling his best but I can tell he is MUCH better than he was before. I remember saying to him "you're only three years old. The universe wouldn't do that to me again so soon. You are not Mac." I'm happy to say that he proved me right. After all, he is my son just like Mac was.

Mac and me

I would like to mention that my good friend Richard Simmons unexpectedly lost his beloved dalmation Dolly yesterday. I remember how it felt when Mac died. I want to let Richard know that I am thinking of him today. He will be on QVC and I'm sure he will be his usual "court jester" on the outside but crying on the inside. I love you, Richard. I'm so sorry about Dolly.

Burn, Baby, Burn

Leaving my job at Curves may have been the best thing I have ever done for my health. I woke up this morning and I can truthfully say that my heel pain is better than it has been for a very long time. I guess standing up for 4-5 hours a night was not helping my Plantar Fasciitis and Tarsal Tunnel Syndrome. I even worked out to Sweatin To The Oldies 4 yesterday without any heel pain. Things are looking up for me and my foot issues. I think I am going to do something I haven't been able to do for months and months which is workout two days in a row. When I finish this post I am going to go inside and crank up Disco Sweat which is one of my all time favorites.

It's amazing how easy it is to stop exercising. Why is that? Excuses come and I embrace them. "Oh, I can't workout today because of my heel pain" or "I can't workout today because I don't have the time" are two of my recent favorite excuses. Why is it so easy to stop doing something that has so many health benefits? You would think that knowing all I know about exercise that I would continue doing it no matter what. But no! I was busy thinking up excuses not to do it. Well, I'm done with that now. No more excuses for me. Hear that Richard?

I am going to take my time getting back to the track. Outside power walking is extremely hard on my heel and I don't want to set it off again but that's no reason to sit on my butt and not workout at all. I have large collection of workout DVDs that will raise my heart rate and make me sweat. I have enough Richard Simmons' DVDs to use a different one every day and that's what I'm going to do.

I used to say that I exercised every day because it gave me a calorie cushion. If I worked out hard for an hour a day I could pretty much (dare I say it?) eat what I wanted within reason and not gain weight. I want that cushion back and not hanging off my butt. I'm going to get back to exercising each day starting with cardio. I actually do yoga almost every day anyway but I need more so I'm cranking up my DVD player until my foot is completely healed (or heeled LOL) and then hopefully get back to the track soon. Maybe I'll go one day next week if I am still feeling good but for now, today, it's Disco Sweat in my living room. Burn, baby, burn.

So I'm back baby and it feels great.