The Tiger Woods Fist Pump

I sleep on my side/stomach with my arm underneath my head. I remember waking up but hearing a really strange noise coming from my left shoulder as I was coming to consciousness. Now I can't seem to move it much. Not a good thing. I was injured in the Tiger Woods riots.
Yesterday I was cooking chicken Parmesan for Pat and when I was reaching into the oven my hand touched one of the oven racks. I hit the ceiling. I spent the whole night with ice on my hand. My right hand.
So what does this mean? First of all, I hope my dream doesn't come true. I would miss Tiger Woods and I might have to riot. Second, I have a bum left shoulder and a burned right hand. At least I'm balanced being hurt on both right and left sides. Work should be lots of fun tonight.